Posts
People come into your life for a reason, a season or a lifetime.
When you know which one it is, you will know what to do for that person.
When someone is in your life for a REASON, it is usually to meet a need you have expressed.
They have come to assist you through a difficulty, to provide you with guidance and support,
To aid you physically, emotionally or spiritually.
They may seem like a godsend and they are.
They are there for the reason you need them to be.
Then, without any wrongdoing on your part or at an inconvenient time, this person will say or do something to bring the relationship to an end.
Sometimes they die. Sometimes they walk away.
Sometimes they act up and force you to take a stand.
What we must realize is that our need has been met, our desire fulfilled, their work is done.
The prayer you sent up has been answered and now it is time to move on.
Some people come into your life for a SEASON, because your turn has come to share, grow or learn.
They bring you an experience of peace or make you laugh.
They may teach you something you have never done.
They usually give you an unbelievable amount of joy.
Believe it, it is real. But only for a season.
LIFETIME relationships teach you lifetime lessons, things you must build upon in order to have a solid emotional foundation.
Your job is to accept the lesson, love the person and put what you have learned to use in all other relationships and areas of your life.
It is said that love is blind but friendship is clairvoyant.
Tuesday, November 24, 2009
Thursday, September 10, 2009
So to speak by Eliza Bern
Saying what you mean and meaning what you say can save the day [and your relationship], writes Eliza Bern [mX p19, 4 Sept 2009].
Fine. Fine? Fine.
Funny how such a simple word can mean so many things - especially when it comes to love.
"Would you like some of my chips?" "No thanks, I'm fine."
Translation: No thanks, I'm fine.
"Would you mind putting the bins out?" "(sigh) Fine."
Translation: Yes I would mind, but I'd rather do it than argue about it.
"What's wrong?" "Nothing's wrong. I'm FIIIIIIIIINNE."
Translation: I'm not fine. Everything is wrong and it's clearly your fault."
There's nothing fine about the word fine at all.
But in the linguistics of love we often say things we don't mean. And other times we don't mean the things we say.
Just as a mother tells her emotional, gibbering tot to, "use your words", sometimes we need to rethink how we say things as adults.
Even on a first date, a heady cocktail of hormones and nerves can render us tongue-tied (and not in the way we might have hoped).
In a relationship, there will be disputes - guaranteed - and emotion can often get the better of us. Throw in some anger and defensiveness and either we start blabbering and blurting things out like a vocab-challenged toddler or we shut down and dish out the silent treatment, with a side serve of: "I'm FIIINNNNE."
Anne Hollonds from Relationship Australia says one of the keys to untangling tongue-tied situations is to find the balance between silence and blabbery - something that takes practice.
"Going quiet is actually a form of communication," Hollond says. "Introverts need time to gather their thoughts and be sure of the words they are going to use."
"Extroverts are more likely to think out loud and talk constantly - sometimes it's just gibberish."
But, with so many ways to communicate, why do people fail to say what they feel?
"We have this romantic notion of soul mates and assume that if the person loves us and knows us, it should be easy and they should be an expert mind reader and know what the problem is," Hollnd says.
"It's also a cultural thing. We're brought up to believe that being assertive about needs is not acceptable, but that is a negative and dangerous path to take."
LISTEN, LISTEN, LISTEN
Listening is not simply waiting for your turn to talk. We're often so busy trying to speak or seethe that we don't really hear the other person's story.
When you first start dating someone, how well you listen can determine how well you get to know them and set up future patterns of communication - good or bad - you choose.
If, while he's talking about his passion for astrophysics, you're thinking about whether you have lipstick on your teeth, a relationship is unlikely to blossom.
In the world of coupledom, it's essential to understand that your partner probably has a different style of articulating their emotion so give them time and encouragement to speak.
And whatever you do, don't interrupt. Just listen. This will help ease tension and can head off a potential argument.
CLEAR AND PRESENT
Once you have listened to the other person, it's time to use those words you've been learning all your life. Start by taking a deep breath and thinking about what you want to say.
Hollonds says using objective "I" statements rather than accusational "you" statements is the way to go.
Good: "I'm dissapointed that you were late meeting me."
Bad: "You obviously don't care enough to be on time."
Say what you mean but be sensitive and objective, Hollonds suggests.
"Everyone says or does the wrong thing at some stage," she says.
"It's how you deal with it as a couple that will decide if you can go the distance or not."
Hollonds says a common thread among happy, long-term couples is that they have worked and built a partnership.
"A lot of couples don't have a sense of relationship because they have an "it's-all-about-me mentality," she says.
But it's not all about you. It's also about your partner. Listen, ask questions, reassure them and work at repairing the relationship when things go wrong. And perhaps things will be truly, beautifully and enduringly... fine.
*Relationships Australia: 1300 364 277
Fine. Fine? Fine.
Funny how such a simple word can mean so many things - especially when it comes to love.
"Would you like some of my chips?" "No thanks, I'm fine."
Translation: No thanks, I'm fine.
"Would you mind putting the bins out?" "(sigh) Fine."
Translation: Yes I would mind, but I'd rather do it than argue about it.
"What's wrong?" "Nothing's wrong. I'm FIIIIIIIIINNE."
Translation: I'm not fine. Everything is wrong and it's clearly your fault."
There's nothing fine about the word fine at all.
But in the linguistics of love we often say things we don't mean. And other times we don't mean the things we say.
Just as a mother tells her emotional, gibbering tot to, "use your words", sometimes we need to rethink how we say things as adults.
Even on a first date, a heady cocktail of hormones and nerves can render us tongue-tied (and not in the way we might have hoped).
In a relationship, there will be disputes - guaranteed - and emotion can often get the better of us. Throw in some anger and defensiveness and either we start blabbering and blurting things out like a vocab-challenged toddler or we shut down and dish out the silent treatment, with a side serve of: "I'm FIIINNNNE."
Anne Hollonds from Relationship Australia says one of the keys to untangling tongue-tied situations is to find the balance between silence and blabbery - something that takes practice.
"Going quiet is actually a form of communication," Hollond says. "Introverts need time to gather their thoughts and be sure of the words they are going to use."
"Extroverts are more likely to think out loud and talk constantly - sometimes it's just gibberish."
But, with so many ways to communicate, why do people fail to say what they feel?
"We have this romantic notion of soul mates and assume that if the person loves us and knows us, it should be easy and they should be an expert mind reader and know what the problem is," Hollnd says.
"It's also a cultural thing. We're brought up to believe that being assertive about needs is not acceptable, but that is a negative and dangerous path to take."
LISTEN, LISTEN, LISTEN
Listening is not simply waiting for your turn to talk. We're often so busy trying to speak or seethe that we don't really hear the other person's story.
When you first start dating someone, how well you listen can determine how well you get to know them and set up future patterns of communication - good or bad - you choose.
If, while he's talking about his passion for astrophysics, you're thinking about whether you have lipstick on your teeth, a relationship is unlikely to blossom.
In the world of coupledom, it's essential to understand that your partner probably has a different style of articulating their emotion so give them time and encouragement to speak.
And whatever you do, don't interrupt. Just listen. This will help ease tension and can head off a potential argument.
CLEAR AND PRESENT
Once you have listened to the other person, it's time to use those words you've been learning all your life. Start by taking a deep breath and thinking about what you want to say.
Hollonds says using objective "I" statements rather than accusational "you" statements is the way to go.
Good: "I'm dissapointed that you were late meeting me."
Bad: "You obviously don't care enough to be on time."
Say what you mean but be sensitive and objective, Hollonds suggests.
"Everyone says or does the wrong thing at some stage," she says.
"It's how you deal with it as a couple that will decide if you can go the distance or not."
Hollonds says a common thread among happy, long-term couples is that they have worked and built a partnership.
"A lot of couples don't have a sense of relationship because they have an "it's-all-about-me mentality," she says.
But it's not all about you. It's also about your partner. Listen, ask questions, reassure them and work at repairing the relationship when things go wrong. And perhaps things will be truly, beautifully and enduringly... fine.
*Relationships Australia: 1300 364 277
Wednesday, September 2, 2009
Beautifully Imperfect - my eulogy.
"The Ministry of Community Development, Youth and Sports (MCYS) is deeply saddened by the sudden demise of Yasmin Ahmad, on Saturday 25 July 2009, at 11:25 pm.
Yasmin was perhaps best known for the movies she directed between 2003 and 2008. She won our hearts with her work that dared to push the boundaries of social norms.
To many of us, we will remember her for teaching us about what family really meant - treasuring everything, especially that which is beautifully imperfect, in our loved ones. But above all, she was a most treasured friend.
We shall miss you dearly, Yasmin."
Thursday, August 13, 2009
Change your thinking.
This is another email going around since when... it is good to re-read and psot it here as we often delete our emails. Thanks to Vilma R for resending this back.
"Two men, both seriously ill, occupied the same hospital room.
One man was allowed to sit up in his bed for an hour each afternoon to help drain the fluid from his lungs.
His bed was next to the room's only window.
The other man had to spend all his time flat on his back.
The men talked for hours on end.
They spoke of their wives and families, their homes, their jobs, their involvement in the military service, where they had been on vacation..
Every afternoon, when the man in the bed by the window could sit up, he would pass the time by describing to his roommate all the things he could see outside the window.
The man in the other bed began to live for those one hour periods where his world would be broadened and enlivened by all the activity and color of the world outside.
The window overlooked a park with a lovely lake.
Ducks and swans played on the water while children sailed their model boats.. Young lovers walked arm in arm amidst flowers of every color and a fine view of the city skyline could be seen in the distance.
As the man by the window described all this in exquisite details, the man on the other side of the room would close his eyes and imagine this picturesque scene.
One warm afternoon, the man by the window described a parade passing by.
Although the other man could not hear the band - he could see it in his mind's eye as the gentleman by the window portrayed it with descriptive words.
Days, weeks and months passed.
One morning, the day nurse arrived to bring water for their baths only to find the lifeless body of the man by the window, who had died peacefully in his sleep.
She was saddened and called the hospital attendants to take the body away.
As soon as it seemed appropriate, the other man asked if he could be moved next to the window. The nurse was happy to make the switch, and after making sure he was comfortable, she left him alone.
Slowly, painfully, he propped himself up on one elbow to take his first look at the real world outside.He strained to slowly turn to look out the window besides the bed.
It faced a blank wall.
The man asked the nurse what could have compelled his deceased roommate who had described such wonderful things outside this window.
The nurse responded that the man was blind and could not even see the wall.
She said, 'Perhaps he just wanted to encourage you.'
Epilogue:
There is tremendous happiness in making others happy, despite our own situations.
Shared grief is half the sorrow, but happiness when shared, is doubled.
If you want to feel rich, just count all the things you have that money can't buy.
'Today is a gift, that is why it is called The Present .' "
"Two men, both seriously ill, occupied the same hospital room.
One man was allowed to sit up in his bed for an hour each afternoon to help drain the fluid from his lungs.
His bed was next to the room's only window.
The other man had to spend all his time flat on his back.
The men talked for hours on end.
They spoke of their wives and families, their homes, their jobs, their involvement in the military service, where they had been on vacation..
Every afternoon, when the man in the bed by the window could sit up, he would pass the time by describing to his roommate all the things he could see outside the window.
The man in the other bed began to live for those one hour periods where his world would be broadened and enlivened by all the activity and color of the world outside.
The window overlooked a park with a lovely lake.
Ducks and swans played on the water while children sailed their model boats.. Young lovers walked arm in arm amidst flowers of every color and a fine view of the city skyline could be seen in the distance.
As the man by the window described all this in exquisite details, the man on the other side of the room would close his eyes and imagine this picturesque scene.
One warm afternoon, the man by the window described a parade passing by.
Although the other man could not hear the band - he could see it in his mind's eye as the gentleman by the window portrayed it with descriptive words.
Days, weeks and months passed.
One morning, the day nurse arrived to bring water for their baths only to find the lifeless body of the man by the window, who had died peacefully in his sleep.
She was saddened and called the hospital attendants to take the body away.
As soon as it seemed appropriate, the other man asked if he could be moved next to the window. The nurse was happy to make the switch, and after making sure he was comfortable, she left him alone.
Slowly, painfully, he propped himself up on one elbow to take his first look at the real world outside.He strained to slowly turn to look out the window besides the bed.
It faced a blank wall.
The man asked the nurse what could have compelled his deceased roommate who had described such wonderful things outside this window.
The nurse responded that the man was blind and could not even see the wall.
She said, 'Perhaps he just wanted to encourage you.'
Epilogue:
There is tremendous happiness in making others happy, despite our own situations.
Shared grief is half the sorrow, but happiness when shared, is doubled.
If you want to feel rich, just count all the things you have that money can't buy.
'Today is a gift, that is why it is called The Present .' "
Wednesday, July 29, 2009
Nails in the fence [Anonymous]
"There once was a little boy who had a bad temper. His Father gave him a bag of nails and told him that every time he lost his temper, he must hammer a nail into the back of the fence.
The first day the boy had driven 37 nails into the fence. Over the next few weeks, as he learned to control his anger, the number of nails hammered daily gradually dwindled down. He discovered it was easier to hold his temper than to drive those nails into the fence.
Finally the day came when the boy didn't lose his temper at all. He told his father about it and the father suggested that the boy now pull out one nail for each day that he was able to hold his temper.
The days passed and the young boy was finally able to tell his father that all the nails were gone.
The father took his son by the hand and led him to the fence. He said:
'You have done well, my son, but look at the holes in the fence. The fence will never be the same. When you say things in anger, they leave a scar just like this one. You can put a knife in a man and draw it out. But It won't matter how many times you say I'm sorry, the wound will still be there. A verbal wound is as bad as a physical one.'"
Via email from Kuyang Domzie
The first day the boy had driven 37 nails into the fence. Over the next few weeks, as he learned to control his anger, the number of nails hammered daily gradually dwindled down. He discovered it was easier to hold his temper than to drive those nails into the fence.
Finally the day came when the boy didn't lose his temper at all. He told his father about it and the father suggested that the boy now pull out one nail for each day that he was able to hold his temper.
The days passed and the young boy was finally able to tell his father that all the nails were gone.
The father took his son by the hand and led him to the fence. He said:
'You have done well, my son, but look at the holes in the fence. The fence will never be the same. When you say things in anger, they leave a scar just like this one. You can put a knife in a man and draw it out. But It won't matter how many times you say I'm sorry, the wound will still be there. A verbal wound is as bad as a physical one.'"
Via email from Kuyang Domzie
Thursday, July 23, 2009
Monday, July 6, 2009
Let it all be...
Sir Paul McCartney, with daughters; Mary [left] and Stella [right]. [Photo credit: Daily Mail]The story behind the song "Let It Be" as told by Paul McCartney to Marlo Thomas.
Excerpt from the book The Right Words At The Right Time -- by Marlo Thomas [as emailed to me by Arjan].
"Let It Be is a product of a lovely dream.
"I was going through a really difficult time around autumn of 1968. It was late in the Beatles' career and we had begun making a new album, a follow-up to the White Album. As a group we were starting to have problems. I was sensing that the Beatles were breaking up, so I was staying late at night, drinking, doing drugs, clubbing, the way a lot of people were at the time. I was really living and playing hard.
The other guys were all living out in the country with their partners, but I was still a bachelor in London with my own house in St. John's Wood. And that was kind of at the back of my mind also, that maybe it was about time I found someone, because it was before I got together with Linda.
So I was exhausted! Some nights I'd go to bed and my head would just flop on the pillow; and when I'd wake up I'd have difficulty pulling it off, thinking, "Good job. I woke up just then or I might have suffocated".
Then one night, somewhere between deep sleep and insomnia, I had the most comforting dream about my mother, who died when I was only 14. She had been a nurse, my mom, and very hardworking, because she wanted the best for us.
We weren't a well-off family - we didn't have a car, we only had a television - so both of my parents went out to work, and mom contributed a good half of the family income. At night when she came home, she would cook, so we didn't have a lot of time with each other. But she was just a very comforting presence in my life. And when she died, one of the difficulties I had, as the years went by, was that I couldn't recall her face so easily.
So in this dream 12 years later, my mother appeared, and there was her face, completely clear, particularly her eyes; and she said to me very gently, very reassuringly, "Let it be."
[Courtesy of Apple Records]It was lovely. I woke up with a great feeling. I was like she had visited me at this very difficult point in my life and gave me this message:
Be gentle, don't fight things, just try and go with the flow and it will work out.
So, being a musician, I went right over to the piano and started writing a song:"When I find myself in times of trouble, Mother Mary comes to me" ... Mary was my mother's name...
"Speaking words of wisdom, let it be, There will be an answer, let it be"
It didn't take long. I wrote the main body of it in one go, and then the subsequent verses developed from there: "When all the broken- hearted people living in the world agree, there will be an answer, let it be."
So those words were really very special to me, because not only did my mom come to me and reassure me at a very difficult time in my life - and sure enough, things did get better after that - but also, in putting them into a song and recording it with the Beatles, it became a reassuring, healing statement for other people too."
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So those words were really very special to me, because not only did my mom come to me and reassure me at a very difficult time in my life - and sure enough, things did get better after that - but also, in putting them into a song and recording it with the Beatles, it became a reassuring, healing statement for other people too."
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Similar post here, but longer.
Thursday, June 18, 2009
Pulping the past
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An excerpt from Kylie Northover's interview and subsequent article of former Pulp frontman - Jarvis Cocker; re his inner rock star and new album: Further Complications:
"The idea of a performance being a one-off appeals to Cocker.
"It gets on my nerves when people seem to be so intent on filming everything on their mobile phones. I just wish people would experience it and be in the moment," he says.
"It used to be when you went on holiday you'd see families where the father couldn't interact with anyone, so he'd stand there with the video camera filming the whole holiday and you'd think: 'What a sad character.' Now young people are doing it - it's bad. They're becoming middle-aged before their time."
"Cocker says having something that lingers only as a memory is better, as it changes over time.
"It gets altered by your brain, by your perception, whereas if you've just got a crappy, hand-held phone footage version of it, it brings it all crashing down to earth, you know what I mean?"
[My pilfered copy of Sydney Morning Herald's Spectrum, June 13-14, 2009, p 11.]
Tuesday, April 28, 2009
Philippians 4:13
"I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me."
The road to success is not straight.
There is a curve called Failure,
a loop called Confusion,
speed bumps called Friends,
red lights called Enemies,
caution lights called Family.
You will have flats called Jobs.
But, if you have a spare called Determination,
an engine called Perseverance,
insurance called Faith,
a driver called Jesus,
you will make it to a place called Success.
The road to success is not straight.
There is a curve called Failure,
a loop called Confusion,
speed bumps called Friends,
red lights called Enemies,
caution lights called Family.
You will have flats called Jobs.
But, if you have a spare called Determination,
an engine called Perseverance,
insurance called Faith,
a driver called Jesus,
you will make it to a place called Success.
Author - Unknown
Thanks Luth for emailing it to me.
Tuesday, April 7, 2009
Rules for being human by Cherie Carter-Scott
I was cleaning the garage [for relaxation!] the other day and I found this piece of paper with ten rules for being human. It does not say who the author was and so I Googled and found more about the origins of this set of "rules". These "rules" first appeared from the book "If Life is a Game, These are the Rules" by Cherie Carter-Scott; and it seems there's more than ten of these "rules". I compared my written copy to what I found on the net and changed bits and pieces below:
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When you were born, you didn't come with an owner's manual; these guidelines make life work better.
1. You will receive a body. You may like it or hate it, but it's the only thing you are sure to keep for the rest of your life.
2. You will learn lessons. You are enrolled in a full-time informal school called "Life on Planet Earth". Every person or incident is the Universal Teacher.
3. Each day in this school you will have the opportunity to learn lessons. You may not like the lessons or think of them irrelevant and stupid.
4. There are no mistakes, only lessons. Growth is a process of experimentation. The "failed" experiments are as much a part of the process as the experiemtns that ultimately "works".["Failures" are as much a part of the process as "success."]
5. A lesson is repeated until learned. A lesson will be presented to you in various forms until you learn it. When you have learned it, you can go on to the next lesson.
6. If you don't learn easy lessons, they get harder. External problems are a precise reflection of your internal state. When you clear inner obstructions, your outside world changes. Pain is how the universe gets your attention.
7. You will know you've learned a lesson when your actions change. Wisdom is practice. A little of something is better than a lot of nothing.
8. Learning lessons does not end. There is no part of life that does not contain its lessons. If you are alive, there are lessons to be learned.
9. "There" is no better than "here". When your "there" becomes a "here" you will simply obtain another "there" that will, again, looks better than "here."
10. Others are merely mirrors of you. You cannot love or hate something about another person unless it reflects something you love or hate in yourself.
11. Your life is up to you. Life provides the canvas; you do the painting. Take charge of your life -- or someone else will.
12. To say in another sense: What you make of your life is up to you. You have all the tools and resources you need. What you do with them is up to you. The choice is yours.
13. You always get what you want. Your subconscious rightfully determines what energies, experiences, and people you attract -- therefore, the only foolproof way to know what you want is to see what you have. There are no victims, only students.
14. There is no right or wrong, but there are consequences. Moralizing doesn't help. Judgments only hold the patterns in place. Just do your best.
15. Your answers lie inside you. Children need guidance from others; as we mature, we trust our hearts, where the Laws of Spirit are written. You know more than you have heard or read or been told. The answers to life's questions lie inside you; all you need to do is to look, listen, and trust.
16. You will forget all this.
17. But you are allowed to remember these anytime you wish, remember life is a continous lesson!
Friday, April 3, 2009
Live a life that matters by Michael Josephson
I am a fan of Michael Josephson and his Character Counts website commentaries. A friend, Inez sent me the following article and I am reposting here to share with you. By the way, above photo was taken late last year on a holiday - Santa Monica pier in California, on a "not so sunny day" but for this one-legged seagull it doesn't seem to matter - it already made a choice.
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WHAT WILL MATTER by Michael Josephson
Ready or not, someday it will all come to an end. There will be no more sunrises, no minutes, hours, or days. All the things you collected, whether treasured or forgotten, will pass to someone else.
Your wealth, fame, and temporal power will shrivel to irrelevance.
It will not matter what you owned or what you were owed. Your grudges, resentments, frustrations, and jealousies will finally disappear.
So, too, your hopes, ambitions, plans, and to-do lists will expire.
The wins and losses that once seemed so important will fade away.
It won't matter where you came from, or on what side of the tracks you lived, at the end.
It won't matter whether you were beautiful or brilliant. Even your gender and skin color will be irrelevant.
So what will matter? How will the value of your days be measured?
What will matter is not what you bought, but what you built; not what you got, but what you gave.
What will matter is not your success, but your significance.
What will matter is not what you learned, but what you taught. What will matter is every act of integrity, compassion, courage or sacrifice that enriched, empowered or encouraged others to emulate your example.
What will matter is not your competence, but your character.
What will matter is not how many people you knew, but how many will feel a lasting loss when you're gone.
What will matter is not your memories, but the memories that live in those who loved you.
What will matter is how long you will be remembered, by whom and for what.
Living a life that matters doesn't happen by accident. It's not a matter of circumstance but of choice.
Choose to live a life that matters.
Friday, March 27, 2009
Life's unopened gifts - Author unknown
I keep receiving this email from well meaning friends, the last a few days ago from a former work mate [that's you Ka Hal!]. It's been going the round of emails for more than five years [or more], as far as I can tell!
I've Googled but couldn't find the author, who sounds to me a mother; or any reference much less the provenance of this article.
Anyway, I've re-titled the piece and if you haven't heard or read this one before - enjoy and please follow the inspiration behind the tome: carpe diem!
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Always be ready to dance - Author unknown
"Too many people put off something that brings them joy just because they haven't thought about it, don't have it on their schedule, didn't know it was coming or are too rigid to depart from their routine.
I got to thinking one day about all those women on the Titanic who passed up dessert at dinner that fateful night in an effort to cut back. From then on, I've tried to be a little more flexible. How many women out there will eat at home because their husband didn't suggest going out to dinner until after something had been thawed? [Ouched!] Does the word 'refrigeration' mean nothing to you?
How often have your kids come in to talk and sat in silence while you watched 'Jeopardy' on television? I cannot count the times I called my sister and said, 'How about going to lunch in a half hour? She would gas up and stammer,'I can't. I have clothes on the line... My hair is dirty. I wish I had known yesterday, I had a late breakfast, It looks like rain.' And my personal favorite: 'It's Monday.' She died a few years ago. We never did have lunch together.
Because Americans [or for that matter, most people living in urban areas] cram so much into their lives, we tend to schedule our headaches. We live on a sparse diet of promises we make to ourselves when all the conditions are perfect!
We'll go back and visit the grandparents when we get Steve toilet-trained. We'll entertain when we replace the living-room carpet... We'll go on a second honeymoon when we get two more kids out of college.
Life has a way of accelerating as we get older. The days get shorter, and the list of promises to ourselves gets longer. One morning, we awaken, and all we have to show for our lives is a litany of 'I'm going to,' 'I plan on,' and 'Someday, when things are settled down a bit.'
When anyone calls my 'seize the moment' friend, she is open to adventure and available for trips. She keeps an open mind on new ideas. Her enthusiasm for life is contagious. You talk with her for five minutes, and you're ready to trade your bad feet for a pair of Roller blades and skip an elevator for a bungee cord.
My lips have not touched ice cream in 10 years. I love ice cream. It's just that I might as well apply it directly to my stomach with a spatula and eliminate the digestive process. The other day, I stopped the car and bought a triple-Decker. If my car had hit an iceberg on the way home, I would have died happy.
Now.... go on and have a nice day. Do something you WANT to.... not something on your SHOULD DO list. If you were going to die soon and had only one phone call you could make, who would you call and what would you say? And why are you waiting? Have you ever watched kids playing on a merry go round or listened to the rain lapping on the ground? Ever followed a butterfly's erratic flight or gazed at the sun into the fading night?
Do you run through each day on the fly? When you ask, “How are you?” do you hear the reply? When the day is done, do you lie in your bed with the next hundred chores running through your heard? Ever told your child,'We'll do it tomorrow.' And in your haste, not see his sorrow?
Ever lost touch? Let a good friendship die? Just call to say 'Hi'?
When you worry and hurry through your day, it is like an unopened gift......Thrown away........ Life is not a race, take it slower. Hear the music before the song is over."
'Life may not be the party we hoped for...but while we are here we might as well dance!
I've Googled but couldn't find the author, who sounds to me a mother; or any reference much less the provenance of this article.
Anyway, I've re-titled the piece and if you haven't heard or read this one before - enjoy and please follow the inspiration behind the tome: carpe diem!
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Always be ready to dance - Author unknown
"Too many people put off something that brings them joy just because they haven't thought about it, don't have it on their schedule, didn't know it was coming or are too rigid to depart from their routine.
I got to thinking one day about all those women on the Titanic who passed up dessert at dinner that fateful night in an effort to cut back. From then on, I've tried to be a little more flexible. How many women out there will eat at home because their husband didn't suggest going out to dinner until after something had been thawed? [Ouched!] Does the word 'refrigeration' mean nothing to you?
How often have your kids come in to talk and sat in silence while you watched 'Jeopardy' on television? I cannot count the times I called my sister and said, 'How about going to lunch in a half hour? She would gas up and stammer,'I can't. I have clothes on the line... My hair is dirty. I wish I had known yesterday, I had a late breakfast, It looks like rain.' And my personal favorite: 'It's Monday.' She died a few years ago. We never did have lunch together.
Because Americans [or for that matter, most people living in urban areas] cram so much into their lives, we tend to schedule our headaches. We live on a sparse diet of promises we make to ourselves when all the conditions are perfect!
We'll go back and visit the grandparents when we get Steve toilet-trained. We'll entertain when we replace the living-room carpet... We'll go on a second honeymoon when we get two more kids out of college.
Life has a way of accelerating as we get older. The days get shorter, and the list of promises to ourselves gets longer. One morning, we awaken, and all we have to show for our lives is a litany of 'I'm going to,' 'I plan on,' and 'Someday, when things are settled down a bit.'
When anyone calls my 'seize the moment' friend, she is open to adventure and available for trips. She keeps an open mind on new ideas. Her enthusiasm for life is contagious. You talk with her for five minutes, and you're ready to trade your bad feet for a pair of Roller blades and skip an elevator for a bungee cord.
My lips have not touched ice cream in 10 years. I love ice cream. It's just that I might as well apply it directly to my stomach with a spatula and eliminate the digestive process. The other day, I stopped the car and bought a triple-Decker. If my car had hit an iceberg on the way home, I would have died happy.
Now.... go on and have a nice day. Do something you WANT to.... not something on your SHOULD DO list. If you were going to die soon and had only one phone call you could make, who would you call and what would you say? And why are you waiting? Have you ever watched kids playing on a merry go round or listened to the rain lapping on the ground? Ever followed a butterfly's erratic flight or gazed at the sun into the fading night?
Do you run through each day on the fly? When you ask, “How are you?” do you hear the reply? When the day is done, do you lie in your bed with the next hundred chores running through your heard? Ever told your child,'We'll do it tomorrow.' And in your haste, not see his sorrow?
Ever lost touch? Let a good friendship die? Just call to say 'Hi'?
When you worry and hurry through your day, it is like an unopened gift......Thrown away........ Life is not a race, take it slower. Hear the music before the song is over."
'Life may not be the party we hoped for...but while we are here we might as well dance!
Tuesday, March 17, 2009
Boom and bust by Prof Lee Wei Ling
[Reflections by the daughter of Singapore's former Prime Minister Lee Kuan Yew, Prof Lee Wei Ling. The writer is also a director and in the research faculty of the National Neuroscience Institute based in Singapore; as a Senior Consultant Neurologist, Paediatric Neurology & Epilepsy.]
In 2007, in an end-of-year message to the staff of the National Neuroscience Institute, I wrote:
‘Whilst boom time in the public sector is never as booming as in the private sector, let us not forget that boom time is eventually followed by slump time. Slump time in the public sector is always less painful compared to the private sector.’
Slump time has arrived with a bang.
While I worry about the poorer Singaporeans who will be hit hard, perhaps this recession has come at an opportune time for many of us. It will give us an incentive to reconsider our priorities in life.
Decades of the good life have made us soft. The wealthy especially, but also the middle class in Singapore, have had it so good for so long, what they once considered luxuries, they now think of as necessities. A mobile phone, for instance, is now a statement about who you are, not just a piece of equipment for communication. Hence many people buy the latest model though their existing mobile phones are still in perfect working order.
A Mercedes-Benz is no longer adequate as a status symbol. For millionaires who wish to show the world they have taste, a Ferrari or a Porsche is deemed more appropriate. The same attitude influences the choice of attire and accessories. I still find it hard to believe that there are people carrying handbags that cost more than thrice the monthly income of a bus driver, and many more times that of theforeign worker labouring in the hot sun, risking his life to construct luxury condominiums he will never have a chance to live in.
The media encourages and amplifies this ostentatious consumption. Perhaps it is good to encourage people to spend more because this will prevent the recession from getting worse. I am not an economist, but wasn't that the root cause of the current crisis - Americans spending more than they could affordto?
I am not a particularly spiritual person. I don't believe in the supernatural and I don't think I have a soul that will survive my death. But as I view the crass materialism around me, I am reminded of what my mother once told me:
"Suffering and deprivation is good for the soul."
My family is not poor, but we have been brought up to be frugal. My parents and I live in the same house that my paternal grandparents and their children moved into after World War II in 1945. It is a big house by today's standards, but it is simple - in fact, almost to the point of being shabby. Those who see it for the first time are astonished that Minister Mentor Lee Kuan Yew's home is so humble. But it is a comfortable house, a home we have got used to. Though it does look shabby compared to the new mansions on our street, we are not bothered by the comparison.
Most of the world and much of Singapore will lament the economic downturn. We have been told to tighten our belts. There will undoubtedly be suffering, which we must try our best to ameliorate. But I personally think the hard times will hold a timely lesson for many Singaporeans, especially those born after 1970 who have never lived through difficult times. No matter how poor you are in Singapore, the authorities and social groups do try to ensure you have shelter and food. Nobody starves in Singapore.
Many of those who are currently living in mansions and enjoying a luxurious lifestyle will probably still be able to do so, even if they might have to downgrade from wines costing $20,000 a bottle to $10,000 a bottle. They would hardly notice the difference. Being wealthy is not a sin. It cannot be in a capitalist market economy. Enjoying the fruits of one's own labour is one's prerogative and I have no right to chastise those who choose to live luxuriously.
But if one is blinded by materialism, there would be no end to wanting and hankering. After the Ferrari, what next? An Aston Martin? After the Hermes Birkin handbag, what can one upgrade to? Neither an Aston Martin nor an Hermes Birkin can make us truly happy or contented. They are like dust, a fog obscuring the true meaning of life, and can be blown away in the twinkling of an eye.
When the end approaches and we look back on our lives, will we regret the latest mobile phone or luxury car that we did not acquire? Or would we prefer to die at peace with ourselves, knowing that we have lived lives filled with love, friendship and goodwill, that we have helped some of our fellow voyagers along the way and that we have tried our best to leave this world a slightly better place than how we found it?
We know which is the correct choice - and it is within our power to make that choice. In this new year, burdened as it is with the problems of the year that has just ended, let us again try to choose wisely. To a considerable degree, our happiness is within our own control, and we should not follow the herd blindly.
In 2007, in an end-of-year message to the staff of the National Neuroscience Institute, I wrote:
‘Whilst boom time in the public sector is never as booming as in the private sector, let us not forget that boom time is eventually followed by slump time. Slump time in the public sector is always less painful compared to the private sector.’
Slump time has arrived with a bang.
While I worry about the poorer Singaporeans who will be hit hard, perhaps this recession has come at an opportune time for many of us. It will give us an incentive to reconsider our priorities in life.
Decades of the good life have made us soft. The wealthy especially, but also the middle class in Singapore, have had it so good for so long, what they once considered luxuries, they now think of as necessities. A mobile phone, for instance, is now a statement about who you are, not just a piece of equipment for communication. Hence many people buy the latest model though their existing mobile phones are still in perfect working order.
A Mercedes-Benz is no longer adequate as a status symbol. For millionaires who wish to show the world they have taste, a Ferrari or a Porsche is deemed more appropriate. The same attitude influences the choice of attire and accessories. I still find it hard to believe that there are people carrying handbags that cost more than thrice the monthly income of a bus driver, and many more times that of theforeign worker labouring in the hot sun, risking his life to construct luxury condominiums he will never have a chance to live in.
The media encourages and amplifies this ostentatious consumption. Perhaps it is good to encourage people to spend more because this will prevent the recession from getting worse. I am not an economist, but wasn't that the root cause of the current crisis - Americans spending more than they could affordto?
I am not a particularly spiritual person. I don't believe in the supernatural and I don't think I have a soul that will survive my death. But as I view the crass materialism around me, I am reminded of what my mother once told me:
"Suffering and deprivation is good for the soul."
My family is not poor, but we have been brought up to be frugal. My parents and I live in the same house that my paternal grandparents and their children moved into after World War II in 1945. It is a big house by today's standards, but it is simple - in fact, almost to the point of being shabby. Those who see it for the first time are astonished that Minister Mentor Lee Kuan Yew's home is so humble. But it is a comfortable house, a home we have got used to. Though it does look shabby compared to the new mansions on our street, we are not bothered by the comparison.
Most of the world and much of Singapore will lament the economic downturn. We have been told to tighten our belts. There will undoubtedly be suffering, which we must try our best to ameliorate. But I personally think the hard times will hold a timely lesson for many Singaporeans, especially those born after 1970 who have never lived through difficult times. No matter how poor you are in Singapore, the authorities and social groups do try to ensure you have shelter and food. Nobody starves in Singapore.
Many of those who are currently living in mansions and enjoying a luxurious lifestyle will probably still be able to do so, even if they might have to downgrade from wines costing $20,000 a bottle to $10,000 a bottle. They would hardly notice the difference. Being wealthy is not a sin. It cannot be in a capitalist market economy. Enjoying the fruits of one's own labour is one's prerogative and I have no right to chastise those who choose to live luxuriously.
But if one is blinded by materialism, there would be no end to wanting and hankering. After the Ferrari, what next? An Aston Martin? After the Hermes Birkin handbag, what can one upgrade to? Neither an Aston Martin nor an Hermes Birkin can make us truly happy or contented. They are like dust, a fog obscuring the true meaning of life, and can be blown away in the twinkling of an eye.
When the end approaches and we look back on our lives, will we regret the latest mobile phone or luxury car that we did not acquire? Or would we prefer to die at peace with ourselves, knowing that we have lived lives filled with love, friendship and goodwill, that we have helped some of our fellow voyagers along the way and that we have tried our best to leave this world a slightly better place than how we found it?
We know which is the correct choice - and it is within our power to make that choice. In this new year, burdened as it is with the problems of the year that has just ended, let us again try to choose wisely. To a considerable degree, our happiness is within our own control, and we should not follow the herd blindly.
Thursday, March 12, 2009
The story of Kyle - A Simple Gesture
According to Snopes' Barbara Mikkelson, this story originated and was based from John W Schlatter's 1993 best selling book: "Chicken Soup for the Soul".
Barbara continued that "The tale is best viewed as a parable meant to encourage acts of compassion by pointing out the consequences of actions and inactions through the power of example."
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"One day, when I was a freshman in high school, I saw a kid from my class was walking home from school. His name was Kyle. It looked like he was carrying all of his books. I thought to myself, "Why would anyone bring home all his books on a Friday? He must really be a nerd." I had quite a weekend planned (parties and a football game with my friends tomorrow afternoon), so I shrugged my shoulders and went on.
As I was walking, I saw a bunch of kids running toward him. They ran at him, knocking all his books out of his arms and tripping him so he landed in the dirt. His glasses went flying, and I saw them land in the grass about ten feet from him. He looked up and I saw this terrible sadness in his eyes. My heart went out to him. So, I jogged over to him and as he crawled around looking for his glasses, and I saw a tear in his eye.
As I handed him his glasses, I said, "Those guys are jerks. They really should get lives." He looked at me and said, "Hey thanks!" There was a big smile on his face. It was one of those smiles that showed real gratitude. I helped him pick up his books, and asked him where he lived. As it turned out, he lived near me, so I asked him why I had never seen him before. He said he had gone to private school before now. I would have never hung out with a private school kid before. We talked all the way home, and I carried his books. He turned out to be a pretty cool kid. I asked him if he wanted to play football on Saturday with me and my friends. He said yes. We hung all weekend and the more I got to know Kyle, the more I liked him, and my friends thought the same of him.
Monday morning came, and there was Kyle with the huge stack of books again. I stopped him and said, "Boy, you are gonna really build some serious muscles with this pile of books everyday!" He just laughed and handed me half the books. Over the next four years, Kyle and I became best friends. When we were seniors, we began to think about college. Kyle decided on Georgetown, and I was going to Duke. I knew that we would always be friends, that the miles would never be a problem. He was going to be a doctor, and I was going for business on a football scholarship.
Kyle was valedictorian of our class. I teased him all the time about being nerd. He had to prepare a speech for graduation. I was so glad it wasn't me having to get up there and speak.
Graduation day, I saw Kyle. He looked great. He was one of those guys that really found himself during high school. He filled out and actually looked good in glasses. He had more dates than I had and all the girls loved him. Boy, sometimes I was jealous. Today was one of those days. I could see that he was nervous about his speech. So, I smacked him on the back and said, "Hey, big guy, you'll be great!" He looked at me with one of those looks (the really grateful one) and smiled. "Thanks," he said.
As he started his speech, he cleared his throat, and began. "Graduation is a time to thank those who helped you make it through those tough years. Your parents, your teachers, your siblings, maybe a coach...but mostly your friends. I am here to tell all of you that being a friend to someone is the best gift you can give them. I am going to tell you a story."
I just looked at my friend with disbelief as he told the story of the first day we met. He had planned to kill himself over the weekend. He talked of how he had cleaned out his locker so his Mom wouldn't have to do it later and was carrying his stuff home. He looked hard at me and gave me a little smile. "Thankfully, I was saved. My friend saved me from doing the unspeakable. "I heard the gasp go through the crowd as this handsome, popular boy told us all about his weakest moment. I saw his mom and dad looking at me and smiling that same grateful smile. Not until that moment did I realize it's depth.
Never underestimate the power of your actions. With one small gesture you can change a person's life. For better or for worse. God puts us all in each other's lives to impact one another in some way. Look for God in others.
------------------------
"Friends are angels who lift us to our feet when our wings have trouble remembering how to fly."
Eleanor Roosevelt wrote:
Many people will walk in and out of your life, but only true friends will leave footprints in your heart.
He who loses money, loses much; He, who loses a friend, loses much more; He, who loses faith, loses all.
Learn from the mistakes of others. You can't live long enough to make them all yourself.
Friends, you and me....You brought another friend....And then there were... 3. We started our group.... Our circle of friends....And like that circle....There is no beginning or end...
Yesterday is history. Tomorrow is mystery. Today is a gift.
Barbara continued that "The tale is best viewed as a parable meant to encourage acts of compassion by pointing out the consequences of actions and inactions through the power of example."
------------------------
"One day, when I was a freshman in high school, I saw a kid from my class was walking home from school. His name was Kyle. It looked like he was carrying all of his books. I thought to myself, "Why would anyone bring home all his books on a Friday? He must really be a nerd." I had quite a weekend planned (parties and a football game with my friends tomorrow afternoon), so I shrugged my shoulders and went on.
As I was walking, I saw a bunch of kids running toward him. They ran at him, knocking all his books out of his arms and tripping him so he landed in the dirt. His glasses went flying, and I saw them land in the grass about ten feet from him. He looked up and I saw this terrible sadness in his eyes. My heart went out to him. So, I jogged over to him and as he crawled around looking for his glasses, and I saw a tear in his eye.
As I handed him his glasses, I said, "Those guys are jerks. They really should get lives." He looked at me and said, "Hey thanks!" There was a big smile on his face. It was one of those smiles that showed real gratitude. I helped him pick up his books, and asked him where he lived. As it turned out, he lived near me, so I asked him why I had never seen him before. He said he had gone to private school before now. I would have never hung out with a private school kid before. We talked all the way home, and I carried his books. He turned out to be a pretty cool kid. I asked him if he wanted to play football on Saturday with me and my friends. He said yes. We hung all weekend and the more I got to know Kyle, the more I liked him, and my friends thought the same of him.
Monday morning came, and there was Kyle with the huge stack of books again. I stopped him and said, "Boy, you are gonna really build some serious muscles with this pile of books everyday!" He just laughed and handed me half the books. Over the next four years, Kyle and I became best friends. When we were seniors, we began to think about college. Kyle decided on Georgetown, and I was going to Duke. I knew that we would always be friends, that the miles would never be a problem. He was going to be a doctor, and I was going for business on a football scholarship.
Kyle was valedictorian of our class. I teased him all the time about being nerd. He had to prepare a speech for graduation. I was so glad it wasn't me having to get up there and speak.
Graduation day, I saw Kyle. He looked great. He was one of those guys that really found himself during high school. He filled out and actually looked good in glasses. He had more dates than I had and all the girls loved him. Boy, sometimes I was jealous. Today was one of those days. I could see that he was nervous about his speech. So, I smacked him on the back and said, "Hey, big guy, you'll be great!" He looked at me with one of those looks (the really grateful one) and smiled. "Thanks," he said.
As he started his speech, he cleared his throat, and began. "Graduation is a time to thank those who helped you make it through those tough years. Your parents, your teachers, your siblings, maybe a coach...but mostly your friends. I am here to tell all of you that being a friend to someone is the best gift you can give them. I am going to tell you a story."
I just looked at my friend with disbelief as he told the story of the first day we met. He had planned to kill himself over the weekend. He talked of how he had cleaned out his locker so his Mom wouldn't have to do it later and was carrying his stuff home. He looked hard at me and gave me a little smile. "Thankfully, I was saved. My friend saved me from doing the unspeakable. "I heard the gasp go through the crowd as this handsome, popular boy told us all about his weakest moment. I saw his mom and dad looking at me and smiling that same grateful smile. Not until that moment did I realize it's depth.
Never underestimate the power of your actions. With one small gesture you can change a person's life. For better or for worse. God puts us all in each other's lives to impact one another in some way. Look for God in others.
------------------------
"Friends are angels who lift us to our feet when our wings have trouble remembering how to fly."
Eleanor Roosevelt wrote:
Many people will walk in and out of your life, but only true friends will leave footprints in your heart.
He who loses money, loses much; He, who loses a friend, loses much more; He, who loses faith, loses all.
Learn from the mistakes of others. You can't live long enough to make them all yourself.
Friends, you and me....You brought another friend....And then there were... 3. We started our group.... Our circle of friends....And like that circle....There is no beginning or end...
Yesterday is history. Tomorrow is mystery. Today is a gift.
Tuesday, March 3, 2009
God lives here...
"Raindrops and a dragonfly" Photo and text by Maria
"I remember hanging out at the Lotus Pond… got lost in time taking one perfect lotus photo after another. I finally put the camera down when it began to rain. It was so awesome to do something totally being in the moment and one with the Creator."
Monday, March 2, 2009
Happiness
Photo by Maria."Happiness can never be a goal in life,
it is the natural byproduct of a life
full of purpose and meaning."
------------------------
Today I received an email from my sister, Mae regarding perspective. It shows the planets in our solar system and comparing our sun; which is just a speck [or a pixel in your computer monitor] with the other suns in the whole universe!
But what caught my attention was the quote at the end of the message. I Googled as always and found who said it, and the background:
"In January 2009, I watched an Oprah show that I was extremely drawn into, and the guests were unbelievable. I was inspired as the timing was perfect. It was the start of the New Year and "Change".
I went to Oprah to get inspired. I needed some personal stimulus! The richest woman in America can be all bad...or wrong. I can't say that I can tell you much about what her current home page speaks of today or what today's 4:00 show will be about... but I did quickly see information (a recap) from a gentleman who was on that inspiring show last month.
I believe the topic was about taking control of your Happiness. Happiness was most definitely the topic at hand within her Best Life Series for '09. The guest was Rabbi Shmuley. The show had several spiritual and religious leaders on it, however it was more about spirituality than religion.
I read on and remember that show....
One of the Rabbi's quotes was: "Happiness can never be a goal in life-it is the natural byproduct of a life full of purpose and meaning."
The Rabbi went on to say...Stop focusing on your happiness. Focus instead on whether your life is full, rewarding and meaningful. Other key points include:
Surround yourself with a structure of selflessness. Find joy in a life of service, he says. "Giving your love to people and focusing on others will naturally bring happiness into your life"
..."Foster creativity, promote teamwork and mentor others-rewards and promotions will come along in due time."
Bring spirituality into your daily life. Try meditating, attending church or praying. Spirituality doesn't always have to do with religion, he says.
Spend more time "being" than "doing." "A great way to do this is spending time with your kids playing and goofing around and just enjoying spending time together."
Laugh at yourself a little."Try not to be critical of yourself, and celebrate your everyday successes," Rabbi Shmuley says.
You know I just had to know what Wikipedia says, so in a flash here it was: Happiness is a state of mind or feeling such as contentment, satisfaction, pleasure, or joy. [1] A variety of philosophical, religious, psychological and biological approaches have been taken to defining happiness and identifying its sources. Philosophers and religious thinkers have often defined happiness in terms of living a good life, or flourishing, rather than simply as an emotion. Happiness in this older sense was used to translate the Greek Eudaimonia, and is still used in virtue ethics.
I will now take time to meditate on this all- a break in my day. Perhaps it is only me that sees a connect-the- dots pattern between the two terms of stimulus and happiness as we move forward into 2009. How are they different and also alike, in meaning?? "Change" is in the air- I feel it!
We all need to take a step back.... see where we have been and were we are going.... and what is important to us, what we want for our families, and how we can be a positive force in our workplace and our community."
Post by Pam Oster on Happiness and Stimulus.
Tuesday, February 24, 2009
The ebb and flow of life by Charlie Badenhop
During my first year in Japan I hitchhiked for two weeks, visiting rural fishing villages on the west coast of Japan. At the time I spoke very little Japanese, and relied on the kindness of the people I met.
I visited tiny villages that had no hotels, and very few tourists passing by. Upon entering a village, I would find a kind looking soul, and pantomime that I needed a place to sleep. Sometimes my acting skills were not enough to get the message across, and sometimes I wound up in the house of a family willing to take in visitors for a small fee. I ate with my hosts and was then led to a simple room to sleep in.
In one village I had the privilege of staying with a remarkable man and his family. One night the man and I sat on a small wooden dock by the ocean. Using lots of gestures to help me understand, the man told me about his life. He was 63 years old. As a boy he'd been very involved in studying karate, but at the age of nineteen his life changed dramatically. Working on his father's fishing boat in rough seas, he lost his balance, and fell just as he was throwing a heavy fishing cage overboard. His left leg got caught in the line attached to the cage and the damage caused to the muscles and nerves of his left calf was severe. He had been limping ever since.
Once he realized he'd no longer be able to study karate, he made a firm commitment to use his life as a fisherman to further his studies. He read various books written by martial arts masters and then applied the principles of what he learned to his work life.
"One of the most important things I learned" he said, "Is to create a rhythm with your posture, movements, and breathing, that matches the rhythm of nature. When I injured myself on the boat, I was so involved in handling the heavy cage, I lost touch with the flow of my surroundings. I was fighting against the ocean, rather than moving with it. Guess what? The ocean won!"
"Notice the gentle ebb and flow of the ocean as we sit here now." he said, "And the sound of the tide lapping against the pilings of the pier."
"As you sense the movement and sounds of the ocean, notice your breathing, and feel your body responding."
I began to do as he suggested and felt myself being drawn into a parallel world that was outside my everyday awareness.
"Feel the life force of the ocean, and without doing anything, allow yourself to move with the ocean." "Breathe, move, and feel your heartbeat." "Invite your heartbeat, to synchronize with the heartbeat of the ocean."
"Now you're becoming one with the water, and you might sense the fluids in your body ebbing and flowing, like the ocean entering into a shallow inlet made of coral."
"Like the ocean you can begin to feel the power of flowing without resisting. Flowing without fighting against."
"Water surrounds and moves past all obstacles, and you can do the same."
"Only flow."
"A single drop of water, has no power. A single drop of water moving with the flow of the ocean forms a wave. The power of the wave comes from joining with. The same is true of me and you"
We sat there together for a while.
The man, myself, and the ocean.
Not separate, but together.
In this moment, I sense all power is really One.
Such was my journey.
*Written by Charlie Badenhop, the originator of Seishindo, an Aikido instructor, NLP trainer, and Ericksonian Hypnotherapist. Charlie sends you his articles twice a month. Each article is about 600 words long. Feel free to visit his website for more inspirational articles.
I visited tiny villages that had no hotels, and very few tourists passing by. Upon entering a village, I would find a kind looking soul, and pantomime that I needed a place to sleep. Sometimes my acting skills were not enough to get the message across, and sometimes I wound up in the house of a family willing to take in visitors for a small fee. I ate with my hosts and was then led to a simple room to sleep in.
In one village I had the privilege of staying with a remarkable man and his family. One night the man and I sat on a small wooden dock by the ocean. Using lots of gestures to help me understand, the man told me about his life. He was 63 years old. As a boy he'd been very involved in studying karate, but at the age of nineteen his life changed dramatically. Working on his father's fishing boat in rough seas, he lost his balance, and fell just as he was throwing a heavy fishing cage overboard. His left leg got caught in the line attached to the cage and the damage caused to the muscles and nerves of his left calf was severe. He had been limping ever since.
Once he realized he'd no longer be able to study karate, he made a firm commitment to use his life as a fisherman to further his studies. He read various books written by martial arts masters and then applied the principles of what he learned to his work life.
"One of the most important things I learned" he said, "Is to create a rhythm with your posture, movements, and breathing, that matches the rhythm of nature. When I injured myself on the boat, I was so involved in handling the heavy cage, I lost touch with the flow of my surroundings. I was fighting against the ocean, rather than moving with it. Guess what? The ocean won!"
"Notice the gentle ebb and flow of the ocean as we sit here now." he said, "And the sound of the tide lapping against the pilings of the pier."
"As you sense the movement and sounds of the ocean, notice your breathing, and feel your body responding."
I began to do as he suggested and felt myself being drawn into a parallel world that was outside my everyday awareness.
"Feel the life force of the ocean, and without doing anything, allow yourself to move with the ocean." "Breathe, move, and feel your heartbeat." "Invite your heartbeat, to synchronize with the heartbeat of the ocean."
"Now you're becoming one with the water, and you might sense the fluids in your body ebbing and flowing, like the ocean entering into a shallow inlet made of coral."
"Like the ocean you can begin to feel the power of flowing without resisting. Flowing without fighting against."
"Water surrounds and moves past all obstacles, and you can do the same."
"Only flow."
"A single drop of water, has no power. A single drop of water moving with the flow of the ocean forms a wave. The power of the wave comes from joining with. The same is true of me and you"
We sat there together for a while.
The man, myself, and the ocean.
Not separate, but together.
In this moment, I sense all power is really One.
Such was my journey.
*Written by Charlie Badenhop, the originator of Seishindo, an Aikido instructor, NLP trainer, and Ericksonian Hypnotherapist. Charlie sends you his articles twice a month. Each article is about 600 words long. Feel free to visit his website for more inspirational articles.
Wednesday, February 4, 2009
Sometimes Faith Can Do Miracles by Michael Josepson
“Coach, why are we doing this?”
Grapevine Faith’s (TX) high school football coach replied, “Imagine if you didn’t have a home life. Imagine if everybody had pretty much given up on you. Imagine what it would mean for hundreds of people to suddenly believe in you.”
In Rick Reilly’s moving ESPN.com story of how one simple gesture by a teacher-coach can change lives forever, he described what took place on a remote field last November in the little town of Grapevine, Texas.
Kris Hogan, coach of the 7-2 Grapevine Faith, wanted to do something special for his visiting opponent, the 0-8 Gainesville State Tornadoes, whose players weren’t having a good year in more ways than one. He contacted Faithful fans and exhorted them to split up for the game – he wanted half of them to root for the visitors this one night only.
When Gainesville took the field, a 40-yard spirit line of Faith fans were lined up for them to run between, and a GO TORNADOES! banner was at the end for them to burst through. Two hundred Faithful fans awaited them in the visitor’s bleachers and cheered for them the entire game.
“I thought maybe they were confused,” said a Gainesville lineman afterward. “They started yelling ‘DEE-fense!’ when their team had the ball. I said, ‘What?’”
Melinda Wright Gainesville State players douse their coach, Mark Williams after the game.
After the game, which Gainesville lost once again, players from both teams gathered at midfield to pray. Leading it was a Gainesville player named Isiah.
“Lord, I don’t know how this happened so I don’t know how to say thank you,” he said. “But I never would have known there were so many people in the world who cared about us.”
As the visitors walked off the field, Faith’s players watched silently as 12 armed officers escorted the boys into their bus. As they stepped aboard, Faith supporters handed each of them a bag for the ride home. In each one were a hamburger, fries, candy, a soda, a Bible, and a personal letter from a Faith player.
The Gainesville coach went up to coach Hogan and said, “You’ll never know what your people did for these kids tonight. You’ll never, ever know.”
Every Tornadoes football game is on the road because Gainesville is a maximum-security correctional facility. We’ll let Reilly recount the rest of the story:
As the bus pulled away, all the Gainesville players crammed to one side and pressed their hands to the window, staring at these people they’d never met before, watching their waves and smiles disappearing into the night.
With the economy six feet under and Christmas running on about three and a half reindeer, it’s nice to know that one of the best presents you can give is still absolutely free. Hope."
-from Michael Josephson's charactercounts
Grapevine Faith’s (TX) high school football coach replied, “Imagine if you didn’t have a home life. Imagine if everybody had pretty much given up on you. Imagine what it would mean for hundreds of people to suddenly believe in you.”
In Rick Reilly’s moving ESPN.com story of how one simple gesture by a teacher-coach can change lives forever, he described what took place on a remote field last November in the little town of Grapevine, Texas.
Kris Hogan, coach of the 7-2 Grapevine Faith, wanted to do something special for his visiting opponent, the 0-8 Gainesville State Tornadoes, whose players weren’t having a good year in more ways than one. He contacted Faithful fans and exhorted them to split up for the game – he wanted half of them to root for the visitors this one night only.
When Gainesville took the field, a 40-yard spirit line of Faith fans were lined up for them to run between, and a GO TORNADOES! banner was at the end for them to burst through. Two hundred Faithful fans awaited them in the visitor’s bleachers and cheered for them the entire game.
“I thought maybe they were confused,” said a Gainesville lineman afterward. “They started yelling ‘DEE-fense!’ when their team had the ball. I said, ‘What?’”
Melinda Wright Gainesville State players douse their coach, Mark Williams after the game.
After the game, which Gainesville lost once again, players from both teams gathered at midfield to pray. Leading it was a Gainesville player named Isiah.
“Lord, I don’t know how this happened so I don’t know how to say thank you,” he said. “But I never would have known there were so many people in the world who cared about us.”
As the visitors walked off the field, Faith’s players watched silently as 12 armed officers escorted the boys into their bus. As they stepped aboard, Faith supporters handed each of them a bag for the ride home. In each one were a hamburger, fries, candy, a soda, a Bible, and a personal letter from a Faith player.
The Gainesville coach went up to coach Hogan and said, “You’ll never know what your people did for these kids tonight. You’ll never, ever know.”
Every Tornadoes football game is on the road because Gainesville is a maximum-security correctional facility. We’ll let Reilly recount the rest of the story:
As the bus pulled away, all the Gainesville players crammed to one side and pressed their hands to the window, staring at these people they’d never met before, watching their waves and smiles disappearing into the night.
With the economy six feet under and Christmas running on about three and a half reindeer, it’s nice to know that one of the best presents you can give is still absolutely free. Hope."
-from Michael Josephson's charactercounts
Wednesday, January 21, 2009
"Old Age, I decided is a Gift" Author Unknown
I get all these emails from friends and acquaintances regarding age and getting old, subtle hints that I am in THAT circle or age group. How come no one sents me the latest craze in dancing or that new song that is playing on the airwaves? Hmmmm.....
"I am now, probably for the first time in my life, the person I have always wanted to be. Oh, not my body! I sometimes despair over my body, the wrinkles, the baggy eyes, and the sagging butt. And often I am taken aback by that old person that lives in my mirror (who looks like my mother!) [or Father], but I don't agonize over those things for long.
I would never trade my amazing friends, my wonderful life, my loving family for less gray hair or a flatter belly. As I've aged, I've become more kind to myself, and less critical of myself. I've become my own friend.
I don't chide myself for eating that extra cookie, or for not making my bed, or for buying that silly cement gecko that I didn't need, but looks so avante garde on my patio. I am entitled to a treat, to be messy, to be extravagant.
I have seen too many dear friends leave this world too soon; before they understood the great freedom that comes with aging. Whose business is it if I choose to read or play on the computer [with Spiders] until 4 AM and sleep until noon?
I will dance with myself to those wonderful tunes of the 60 & 70's, and if I, at the same time, wish to weep over a lost love... I will.
I will walk the beach in a swim suit [or Speedo] that is stretched over a bulging body, and will dive into the waves with abandon if I choose to, despite the pitying glances from the jet set. They, too, will get old.
I know I am sometimes forgetful. But there again, some of life is just as well forgotten. And I eventually remember the important things.
Sure, over the years my heart has been broken. How can your heart not break when you lose a loved one, or when a child suffers, or even when somebody's beloved pet gets hit by a car? But broken hearts are what give us strength and understanding and compassion. A heart never broken is pristine and sterile and will never know the joy of being imperfect.
I am so blessed to have lived long enough to have my hair turning gray, and to have my youthful laughs be forever etched into deep grooves on my face. So many have never laughed, and so many have died before their hair could turn silver.
As you get older, it is easier to be positive. You care less about what other people think. I don't question myself anymore. I've even earned the right to be wrong.
So, to answer your question, I like being old. It has set me free. I like the person I have become. I am not going to live forever, but while I am still here, I will not waste time lamenting what could have been, or worrying about what will be. And I shall eat dessert every single day, if I feel like it!"
See a similar post re aging, click here.
"I am now, probably for the first time in my life, the person I have always wanted to be. Oh, not my body! I sometimes despair over my body, the wrinkles, the baggy eyes, and the sagging butt. And often I am taken aback by that old person that lives in my mirror (who looks like my mother!) [or Father], but I don't agonize over those things for long.
I would never trade my amazing friends, my wonderful life, my loving family for less gray hair or a flatter belly. As I've aged, I've become more kind to myself, and less critical of myself. I've become my own friend.
I don't chide myself for eating that extra cookie, or for not making my bed, or for buying that silly cement gecko that I didn't need, but looks so avante garde on my patio. I am entitled to a treat, to be messy, to be extravagant.
I have seen too many dear friends leave this world too soon; before they understood the great freedom that comes with aging. Whose business is it if I choose to read or play on the computer [with Spiders] until 4 AM and sleep until noon?
I will dance with myself to those wonderful tunes of the 60 & 70's, and if I, at the same time, wish to weep over a lost love... I will.
I will walk the beach in a swim suit [or Speedo] that is stretched over a bulging body, and will dive into the waves with abandon if I choose to, despite the pitying glances from the jet set. They, too, will get old.
I know I am sometimes forgetful. But there again, some of life is just as well forgotten. And I eventually remember the important things.
Sure, over the years my heart has been broken. How can your heart not break when you lose a loved one, or when a child suffers, or even when somebody's beloved pet gets hit by a car? But broken hearts are what give us strength and understanding and compassion. A heart never broken is pristine and sterile and will never know the joy of being imperfect.
I am so blessed to have lived long enough to have my hair turning gray, and to have my youthful laughs be forever etched into deep grooves on my face. So many have never laughed, and so many have died before their hair could turn silver.
As you get older, it is easier to be positive. You care less about what other people think. I don't question myself anymore. I've even earned the right to be wrong.
So, to answer your question, I like being old. It has set me free. I like the person I have become. I am not going to live forever, but while I am still here, I will not waste time lamenting what could have been, or worrying about what will be. And I shall eat dessert every single day, if I feel like it!"
See a similar post re aging, click here.
Monday, January 12, 2009
Here's to a new You!
It is always bound to happen that at the beginning of each new year someone will email you with a though for a new year. I received from a friend the following:
"1) Take a 10-30 minute walk every day, and while you walk, smile. It is the ultimate anti-depressant.
2) Sit in silence for at least 10 minutes each day. Buy a lock if you have to.
3) Always pray and always make time to exercise.
4) Spend more time with people over the age of 70 and under the age of six.
5) Eat more food that grow on trees and plants and eat less food that are manufactured.
6) Drink green tea and plenty of water. Eat broccoli, almonds and walnuts.
7) Try to make at least three people smile each day.
8) Clear your clutter from your house, car, desk and let new and flowing energy into your life.
9) Don't waste your precious energy on gossip, issues of the past, negative thoughts or things you cannot control. Instead, invest your energy in the positive present moment.
10) Realize that life is a school and you are here to learn. Problems are simply part of the curriculum that appear and fade away like algebra class, but the lessons you learn will last a lifetime.
11) Eat breakfast like a king, lunch like a layman and dinner like a beggar.
12) Life isn't fair, but it's still good.
13) Life is too short to waste time hating anyone.
14) Don't take yourself so seriously. No one else does.
15) You don't have to win every argument. Agree to disagree.
16) Make peace with your past so it won't screw up the present.
17) Don't compare your life to others. You have no idea what their journey is all about.
18) Ladies - Go on and burn those 'special' scented candles, use the 600 thread count sheets, the good china and wear fancy clothes now. Stop waiting for a special occasion. Every day is special.
19) No one is in charge of your happiness except you.
20) Frame every so-called disaster with these words: 'In five years, will this matter?'
21) Forgive everyone for everything.
22) What other people think of you is none of your business.
23) Time heals almost everything. Give time, time!
24) However good or bad a situation is, it will change.
25) Your job won't take care of you when you are sick. Your friends and family will. Stay in touch with them.
26) Get rid of anything that isn't useful, beautiful or joyful.
27) Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need. God provides, remember?
28) The best is yet to come.
29) No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up.
30) Do the right thing!
31) Call your family often.
32) Each night before you go to bed, complete the following statements: 'I am thankful for __________.' 'Today I accomplished _________.'
33) Remember that you are too blessed to be stressed.
34) Enjoy the ride. Remember that this is not Disney World and you certainly don't want a fast pass. You only have one ride through life so make the most of it and enjoy the ride.
LIVE, LOVE, LAUGH -- LIFE'S A gift. That's why now is called the PRESENT ... UNWRAP IT!"
Anonymous
"1) Take a 10-30 minute walk every day, and while you walk, smile. It is the ultimate anti-depressant.
2) Sit in silence for at least 10 minutes each day. Buy a lock if you have to.
3) Always pray and always make time to exercise.
4) Spend more time with people over the age of 70 and under the age of six.
5) Eat more food that grow on trees and plants and eat less food that are manufactured.
6) Drink green tea and plenty of water. Eat broccoli, almonds and walnuts.
7) Try to make at least three people smile each day.
8) Clear your clutter from your house, car, desk and let new and flowing energy into your life.
9) Don't waste your precious energy on gossip, issues of the past, negative thoughts or things you cannot control. Instead, invest your energy in the positive present moment.
10) Realize that life is a school and you are here to learn. Problems are simply part of the curriculum that appear and fade away like algebra class, but the lessons you learn will last a lifetime.
11) Eat breakfast like a king, lunch like a layman and dinner like a beggar.
12) Life isn't fair, but it's still good.
13) Life is too short to waste time hating anyone.
14) Don't take yourself so seriously. No one else does.
15) You don't have to win every argument. Agree to disagree.
16) Make peace with your past so it won't screw up the present.
17) Don't compare your life to others. You have no idea what their journey is all about.
18) Ladies - Go on and burn those 'special' scented candles, use the 600 thread count sheets, the good china and wear fancy clothes now. Stop waiting for a special occasion. Every day is special.
19) No one is in charge of your happiness except you.
20) Frame every so-called disaster with these words: 'In five years, will this matter?'
21) Forgive everyone for everything.
22) What other people think of you is none of your business.
23) Time heals almost everything. Give time, time!
24) However good or bad a situation is, it will change.
25) Your job won't take care of you when you are sick. Your friends and family will. Stay in touch with them.
26) Get rid of anything that isn't useful, beautiful or joyful.
27) Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need. God provides, remember?
28) The best is yet to come.
29) No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up.
30) Do the right thing!
31) Call your family often.
32) Each night before you go to bed, complete the following statements: 'I am thankful for __________.' 'Today I accomplished _________.'
33) Remember that you are too blessed to be stressed.
34) Enjoy the ride. Remember that this is not Disney World and you certainly don't want a fast pass. You only have one ride through life so make the most of it and enjoy the ride.
LIVE, LOVE, LAUGH -- LIFE'S A gift. That's why now is called the PRESENT ... UNWRAP IT!"
Anonymous
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