Two Wolves Within: A Cherokee Parable

"A grandfather said to his grandson, who came to him with anger at a friend who had done him an injustice,

"Let me tell you a story.

I too, at times, have felt a great hate for those that have taken so much, with no sorrow for what they do. But hate wears you down, and does not hurt your enemy. It is like taking poison and wishing your enemy would die. I have struggled with these feelings many times."

He continued,

"It is as if there are two wolves inside me. One is good and does no harm. He lives in harmony with all around him, and does not take offense when no offense was intended. He will only fight when it is right to do so, and in the right way.

This one is good - he is joy, peace, love, hope, serenity, humility, kindness, benevolence, empathy, generosity, truth, compassion, and faith.

But the other wolf, ah! He is full of anger. The littlest thing will set him into a fit of temper. He fights everyone, all the time, for no reason. He cannot think because his anger and hate are so great. It is helpless anger, for his anger will change nothing.

He is evil - he is anger, envy, sorrow, regret, greed, arrogance, self-pity, guilt, resentment, inferiority, lies, false pride, superiority, and ego."

Sometimes, it is hard to live with these two wolves inside me, for both of them try to dominate my spirit."

The boy looked intently into his grandfather's eyes and asked,

"Which one wins, grandfather?"

The grandfather smiled and quietly said,

"The one I feed."

"The same fight is going on inside you - and inside every other person, too."

It is always the one you feed that always win!

[Adapted from an email by classmate Leng, and from the "Native American Indian Legends: A Cherokee Legend"]

Do not... Words of Wisdom [Author Unknown]

"Do not undermine your worth
By comparing yourself with others.
It is because we are different
That each of us is special.

Do not set your goals
By what other people deem important.
Only you know what is best for you.

Do not take for granted
The things closest to your heart.
Cling to them as you would your life.
For without them, life is meaningless.

Do not let your life slip through your fingers
By living in the past nor for the future.
By living your life one day at a time,
You live all the days of your life.

Do not give up
When you still have something to give.
Nothing is really over
Until the moment you stop trying.

It is a fragile thread
That binds us to each other.
Do not be afraid to encounter risks.
It is by taking chances
That we learn to be brave.

Do not shut love out of your life
By saying it is impossible to find.
The quickest way to receive love is to give love;
The fastest way to lose love is to hold it too tightly.

In addition,
The best way to keep love is to give it wings.
Do not dismiss your dreams.
To be without dreams is to be without hope,
To be without hope is to be without purpose.

Do not run through life
So fast that you forget
Not only where you have been
But also where you are going.

Life is not a race but a journey
To be savored each step of the way.
So smile and let the sun shine through.
For there's someone,
somewhere, watching over you!"

The math just doesn't add up by Charlie Badenhop

1. Introduction

As I've said before… When I was 23 years old I had the good and bad fortune of getting arrested in Greece during a military dictatorship. Here's another story about this time in my life.

I fully realize the tone of my prison stories are rather different than what I usually write about. These stories might not be comfortable reading for you, but I hope they help you learn some of the same life affirming lessons I did at that time.


2. The math just doesn't add up

There I am, my first day in jail in Greece…Trusting no one. Not even myself.

A guy ambles over and offers me a cigarette, as he simply says, "Hi, how ya doin?"

I wasn't a smoker in those days, but somehow a cigarette seems like a good idea, and I reach for one as I answer "Fine."

In retrospect my reply amuses me, because "fine" could not have been further from the truth.

My new found friend introduces himself as Gus, and says he learned English by working as a deckhand on cargo ships.

As I offer nothing in the way of matches, Gus lights my cigarette and then his own as he gently says, "If you don't have your own cigarettes, you should at least have your own matches." "Lighting the other person's cigarette is a sign of respect, and in here it's good to let people know you respect them."

I'm thankful for his advice, and at the same time surprised by his kindness.

"How did you wind up in here?" Gus asks.

"Oh" I say, "Sort of a long story. How about you?"

Me?" Gus says, before taking a long drag on his cigarette, "I'm a drug addict."
His eyes are friendly yet intense as he looks at me, and I get a sense he's trying to measure my response.

"You see, the more drugs you do the more money you need. When you're doing drugs, you can't afford to be poor." "But the more drugs you do, the less able you are to work and make money. The math never adds up, and that's how you wind up in jail."

Usually I'm a rather talkative guy, but in this instance I have no idea how to respond. So I take a drag on my cigarette, try my best to not cough, and say "Hmm."

"I'm not sure if it's the drugs that keep me feeling strung out, or just that I can no longer see myself having a regular job and getting up early every morning. I have no sense of a future that might actually work for me."

"That's why being in jail is helpful. It slows me down, and gives me a chance to think about what I really want." "If the government would give me a daily ration of drugs, I'd be quite happy staying in jail."

"There's a lot less stress when I'm here, because I don't need to worry about what will happen, and what I need to do to stay out of trouble. I don't need to try and do away with my illness. I don't need to try and be healthy."

"Yet when I'm not in jail I spend a lot of time and energy trying to figure out how to stay away from here."

"Is any of this making sense to you?" he asks.

"I know what I'm saying doesn't really add up, but somehow it makes sense to me."
"Maybe that's my problem. The fact that what makes sense to me doesn't really make sense."

"Being healthy is beyond what I feel capable of. Having this illness is the only thing I seem to know. The only thing I wind up believing in."

I take one last drag on my cigarette, toss it to the ground and snuff it out with my foot. I know he's said something profound, and yet I'm quite clear the math just doesn't add up. His words sound quite logical, and yet his words don't match his emotional experience. To some degree that's a challenge all of us sometimes face.

Reprinted/reposted with permission from:

This article was written by Charlie Badenhop, the originator of Seishindo. If you would like to subscribe to Charlie's newsletter, please click on this link:

http://www.seishindo.org/newsletter.html

Carl's Garden - Author unknown

"Carl was a quiet man. He didn't talk much. He would always greet you with a big smile and a firm handshake. Even after living in our neighborhood for over 50 years, no one could really say they knew him very well.

Before his retirement, he took the bus to work each morning. The lone sight of him walking down the street often worried us. He had a slight limp from a bullet wound received in WWII. Watching him, we worried that although he had survived WWII, he may not make it through our changing uptown neighborhood with its ever-increasing random violence, gangs, and drug activity.

When he saw the flyer at our local church asking for volunteers for caring for the gardens behind the minister's residence, he responded in his characteristically unassuming manner. Without fanfare, he just signed up.

He was well into his 87th year when the very thing we had always feared finally happened.He was just finishing his watering for the day when three gang members approached him. Ignoring their attempt to intimidate him, he simplyasked, 'Would you like a drink from the hose?' The tallest and toughest-looking of the three said, 'Yeah, sure,' with a malevolent little smile. As Carl offered the hose to him, the other two grabbed Carl's arm, throwing him down. As the hose snaked crazily over the ground, dousing everything in its way, Carl's assailants stole his retirement watch and his wallet, and then fled.

Carl tried to get himself up, but he had been thrown down on his bad leg. He lay there trying to gather himself as the minister came running to help him. Although the minister had witnessed the attack from his window, he couldn't get there fast enough to stop it. 'Carl, are you okay? Are you hurt?' the minister kept asking as hehelped Carl to his feet.

Carl just passed a hand over his brow and sighed, shaking his head. 'Just some punk kids. I hope they'll wise-up someday.' His wet clothes clung to his slight frame as he bent to pick up the hose. He adjusted the nozzle again and started to water. Confused and a little concerned, the minister asked, 'Carl, what are you doing?' 'I've got to finish my watering. It's been very dry lately, 'came the calm reply. Satisfying himself that Carl really was all right, the minister could only marvel. Carl was a man from a different time and place.

A few weeks later the three returned. Just as before their threat was unchallenged. Carl again offered them a drink from his hose.This time they didn't rob him. They wrenched the hose from his hand and drenched him head to foot in the icy water. When they had finished their humiliation of him, they sauntered off down the street, throwing catcalls and curses, falling over one another laughing at the hilarity of what they had just done.

Carl just watched them. Then he turned toward the warmth giving sun, picked up his hose, and went on with his watering. The summer was quickly fading into fall, Carl was doing some tilling when he was startled by the sudden approach of someone behind him. He stumbled and fell into some evergreen branches. As he struggled to regain his footing, he turned to see the tall leader of his summer tormentors reaching down for him. He braced himself for the expected attack.

'Don't worry old man, I'm not gonna hurt you this time. 'The young man spoke softly, still offering the tattooed and scarred hand to Carl. As he helped Carl get up, the man pulled a crumpled bag from his pocket and handed it to Carl.

'What's this?' Carl asked. 'It's your stuff,' the man explained. 'It's your stuff back. Even the money in your wallet.' 'I don't understand,' Carl said. 'Why would you help me now? 'The man shifted his feet, seeming embarrassed and ill at ease.

'I learned something from you,' he said. 'I ran with that gang and hurt people like you . We picked you because you were old and we knew we could do it. But every time we came and did something to you, instead of yelling and fighting back, you tried to give us a drink. You didn't hate us for hating you. You kept showing love against our hate.'

He stopped for a moment. 'I couldn't sleep after we stole yourstuff, so here it is back. 'He paused for another awkward moment, not knowing what more there was to say. 'That bag's my way of saying thanks for straightening me out, I guess.' And with that, he walked off down the street.

Carl looked down at the sack in his hands and gingerly opened it. He took out his retirement watch and put it back on his wrist. Opening his wallet, he checked for his wedding photo. He gazed for a moment at the young bride who still smiled back at him from all those years ago.

He died one cold day after Christmas that winter. Many people attended his funeral in spite of the weather. In particular the minister noticed a tall young man that he didn't know sitting quietly in a distant corner of the church. The minister spoke of Carl's garden as a lesson in life. In a voice made thick with unshed tears, he said, 'Do your best and make your garden as beautiful as you can. We will never forget Carl and his garden.'

The following spring another flyer went up. It read: 'Person needed toc are for Carl's garden.' The flyer went unnoticed by the busy parishioners until one day when a knock was heard at the minister's office door. Opening the door, the minister saw a pair of scarred and tattooed hands holding the flyer.

'I believe this is my job, if you'll have me,' the young man said. The minister recognized him as the same young man who had returned the stolen watch and wallet to Carl. He knew that Carl's kindness had turned this man's life around. As the minister handed him the keys to the garden shed, he said, 'Yes, go take care of! Carl's garden and honour him.'

The man went to work and, over the next several years, he tended the flowers and vegetables just as Carl had done... In that time, he went to college, got married, and became a prominent member of the community. But he never forgot his promise to Carl'smemory and kept the garden as beautiful as he thought Carl would have kept it.

One day he approached the new minister and told him that he couldn't care for the garden any longer. He explained with a shy and happy smile, 'My wife just had a baby boy last night, and she's bringing him home on Saturday.'

'Well, congratulations! ' said the minister, as he was handed the garden shed keys. 'That's wonderful! What's the baby's name?'

'Carl,' he replied..."

Seven Deadly Sins: by Mahatma Gandhi as Expounded by Stephen R Covey

"Dr. Stephen R. Covey - one of the world's leading management consultants and author of the best selling book The Seven Habits Of Highly Effective People - is co-chairman of Franklin Covey located in Salt Lake City, Utah in the U.S.A.

Franklin Covey provides consultancy services to Fortune 500 companies as well as thousand of small and mid-size companies, educational institutions, government and other organisations world-wide.

Their work in Principle Centered Leadership is considered to be an instrumental foundation to the effectiveness of quality, leadership, service, team building, organisational alignment and other strategic corporate initiatives.

Excerpts from Chapter 7 - Seven Deadly Sins - Page 87 to 93


Mahatma Gandhi said that seven things will destroy us. Notice that all of them have to do with social and political conditions. Note also that the antidote of each of these "deadly sins" is an explicit external standard or something that is based on natural principles and laws, not on social values.

Wealth Without Work
Pleasure Without Conscience
Knowledge Without Character
Commerce (Business) Without Morality (Ethics)
Science Without Humanity
Religion Without Sacrifice
Politics Without Principle


Rights Without Responsibility - This is the 8th sin by Arun Gandhi

Also see Gandhi's 11 Vows by clicking here.

© 1990 Stephen R. Covey. All rights reserved. Reprinted with permission.The Seven Habits and Principle-Centered Leadership are registered trademarks of Franklin Covey and are used with permission.

To learn more about Franklin Covey, visit their web-site at http://www.franklincovey.com/.

Seven Deadly Sins: Wealth Without Work

"This refers to the practice of getting something for nothing - manipulating markets and assets so you don't have to work or produce added value, just manipulate people and things. Today there are professions built around making wealth without working, making much money without paying taxes, benefiting from free government programs without carrying a fair share of the financial burdens, and enjoying all the perks of citizenship of country and membership of corporation without assuming any of the risk or responsibility.

How many of the fraudulent schemes that went on in the 1980s, often called the decade of greed, were basically get-rich-quick schemes or speculations promising practitioners, "You don't even have to work for it"? That is why I would be very concerned if one of my children went into speculative enterprises or if they learned how to make a lot of money fast without having to pay the price by adding value on a day-to-day basis.

Some network marketing and pyramidal organizations worry me because many people get rich quick by building a structure under them that feeds them without work. They are rationalized to the hilt; nevertheless the overwhelming emotional motive is often greed: "You can get rich without much work. You may have to work initially, but soon you can have wealth without work."

New social mores and norms are cultivated that cause distortions in their judgement. Justice and judgement are inevitably inseparable, suggesting that to the degree you move away from the laws of nature, your judgement will be adversely affected. You get distorted notions. You start telling rational lies to explain why things work or why they don't. You move away from the law of "the farm" into social / political environments.

When we read of organisations in trouble, we often hear the sad confessions of executives who tell of moving away from natural laws and principles for a period of time and begin overbuilding, over borrowing, and over speculating, not really reading the stream or getting objective feedback, just hearing a lot of self-talk internally. Now they have a high debt to pay. They may have to work hard just to survive - without hope of being healthy for five years or more. It's back to the basics, hand to the plow. And many of these executives, in earlier days, were critical of the conservative founders of the corporations who stayed close to the fundamentals and preferred to stay small and free of debt."

http://www.mkgandhi.org/mgmnt.htm

Seven Deadly Sins: Pleasure Without Conscience

"The chief query of the immature, greedy, selfish, and sensuous has always been, "What's in it for me? Will this please me? Will it ease me?" Lately many people seem to want these pleasures without conscience or sense of responsibility, even abandoning or utterly neglecting spouses and children in the name of doing their thing.

But independence is not the most mature state of being - it's only a middle position on the way to interdependence, the most advanced and mature state. To learn to give and take, to live selflessly, to be sensitive, to be considerate, is our challenge. Otherwise there is no sense of social responsibility or accountability in our pleasurable activities.

The ultimate costs of pleasures without conscience are high as measured in terms of time and money, in terms of reputation and in terms of wounding the hearts and minds of other people who are adversely affected by those who just want to indulge and gratify themselves in the short term. It's dangerous to be pulled or lulled away from natural law without conscience. Conscience is essentially the repository of timeless truths and principles - the internal monitor of natural law.

A prominent, widely published psychologist worked to align people with their moral conscience in what was called "integrity therapy." He once told me that he was a manic-depressive. "I knew I was getting suicidal," he said. "Therefore, I committed myself to a mental institution. I tried to work out of it, neutralize it, until I reached the point where I could leave the hospital. I don't do clinical work now because it is too stressful. I mostly do research. And through my own struggle, I discovered that integrity therapy was the only way to go. I gave up my mistress, confessed to my wife, and had peace for the first time in my life. "

Pleasure without conscience is one of the key temptations for today's executives. Sometimes on airplanes I'll scan the magazines directed at executives, noting the advertisements. Many of these ads, perhaps two-thirds of them, invite executives to indulge themselves without conscience because they "deserve it" or have "earned it" or "want it," and why not "give in" and "let it all hang out"? The seductive message is, "You've arrived. You are now a law unto yourself. You don't need a conscience to govern you anymore." And in some ads you see sixty-year-old men with attractive thirty-year old women, the "significant others" who accompany some executives to conventions. Whatever happened to spouses? What happened to the social mores that make cheating on spouses illegitimate behaviour?"

http://www.mkgandhi.org/mgmnt.htm

Seven Deadly Sins: Knowledge Without Character

"As dangerous as a little knowledge is, even more dangerous is much knowledge without a strong, principled character. Purely intellectual development without commensurate internal character development makes as much sense as putting a high-powered sports car in the hands of a teenager who is high on drugs. Yet all too often in the academic world, that's exactly what we do by not focusing on the character development of young people.

One of the reasons I'm excited about taking the Seven Habits into the schools is that it is character education. Some people don't like character education because, they say, "that's your value system." But you can get a common set of values that everyone agrees on. It is not that difficult to decide, for example, that kindness, fairness, dignity, contribution, and integrity are worth keeping. No one will fight you on those.

So let's start with values that are unarguable and infuse them in our education system and in our corporate training and development programs. Let's achieve a better balance between the development of character and intellect.

The people who are transforming education today are doing it by building consensus around a common set of principles, values, and priorities and debunking the high degree of specialization, departmentalization, and partisan politics."

http://www.mkgandhi.org/mgmnt.htm

Seven Deadly Sins: Commerce Without Morality

Commerce (Business) Without Morality (Ethics)

"In his book Moral Sentiment, which preceded Wealth of Nations, Adam Smith explained how foundational to the success of our systems is the moral foundation : how we treat each other, the spirit of benevolence, of service, of contribution. If we ignore the moral foundation and allow economic systems to operate without moral foundation and without continued education, we will soon create an amoral, if not immoral, society and business. Economic and political systems are ultimately based on a moral foundation.

To Adam Smith, every business transaction is a moral challenge to see that both parties come out fairly. Fairness and benevolence in business are the underpinnings of the free enterprise system called capitalism. Our economic system comes out of a constitutional democracy where minority rights are to be attended to as well. The spirit of the Golden Rule or of win-win is a spirit of morality, of mutual benefit, of fairness for all concerned. Paraphrasing one of the mottos of the Rotary Club, "Is it fair and does it serve the interests of all the stakeholders?" That's just a moral sense of stewardship toward all of the stakeholders.

I like that Smith says every economic transaction. People get in trouble when they say that most of their economic transactions are moral. That means there is something going on that is covert, hidden, secret. People keep a hidden agenda, a secret life, and they justify and rationalize their activities. They tell themselves rational lies so they don't have to adhere to natural laws. If you can get enough rationalization in a society, you can have social mores or political wills that are totally divorced from natural laws and principles.

I once met a man who for five years served as the "ethics director" for a major aerospace company. He finally resigned the post in protest and considered leaving the company, even though he would lose a big salary and benefit package. He said that the executive team had their own separate set of business ethics and that they were deep into rationalization and justification. Wealth and power were big on their agendas, and they made no excuse for it anymore. They were divorced from reality even inside their own organization. They talked about serving the customer while absolutely mugging their own employees."

http://www.mkgandhi.org/mgmnt.htm

Seven Deadly Sins: Science Without Humanity

"If science becomes all technique and technology, it quickly degenerates into man against humanity. Technologies come from the paradigms of science. And if there's very little understanding of the higher human purposes that the technology is striving to serve, we becomes victims of our own technocracy. We see otherwise highly educated people climbing the scientific ladder of success, even though it's often missing the rung called humanity and leaning against the wrong wall.

The majority of the scientists who ever lived or living today, and they have brought about a scientific and technological explosion in the world. But if all they do is superimpose technology on the same old problems, nothing basic changes. We may see an evolution, an occasional "revolution" in science, but without humanity we see precious little real human advancement. All the old inequities and injustices are still with us.

About the only thing that hasn't evolved are these natural laws and principles - the true north on the compass. Science and technology have changed the face of most everything else. But the fundamental things still apply, as time goes by."

http://www.mkgandhi.org/mgmnt.htm

Seven Deadly Sins: Religion Without Sacrifice

"Without sacrifice we may become active in a church but remain inactive in its gospel. In other words, we go for the social facade of religion and the piety of religious practices. There is no real walking with people or going the second mile or trying to deal with our social problems that may eventually undo our economic system. It takes sacrifice to serve the needs of other people - the sacrifice of our own pride and prejudice, among other things.

If a church or religion is seen as just another hierarchical system, its members won't have a sense of service or inner workship. Instead they will be into outward observances and all the visible accoutrements of religion. But they are neither God-centered nor principle-centered.

The principles of three of the Seven Habits pertain to how we deal with other people, how we serve them, how we sacrifice for them, how we contribute. Habits 4, 5 and 6 - win-win interdependency, empathy, and synergy - require tremendous sacrifice. I've come to believe that they require a broken heart and a contrite spirit - and that, for some, is the ultimate sacrifice.

For example, I once observed a marriage where there were frequent arguments. One thought came to me : "These two people must have a broken heart and a contrite spirit toward each other or this union will never last." You can't have a oneness, a unity, without humility. Pride and selfishness will destroy the union between man and god, between man and woman, between man and man, between self and self.

The great servant leaders have that humility, the hallmark of inner religion. I know a few CEOs who are humble servant leaders - who sacrifice their pride and share their power - and I can say that their influence both inside and outside their companies is multiplied because of it. Sadly, many people want "religion," or at least the appearance of it, without any sacrifice. They want more spirituality but would never miss a meal in meaningful fasting or do one act of anonymous service to achieve it."

http://www.mkgandhi.org/mgmnt.htm

Seven Deadly Sins: Politics Without Principle

"If there is no principle, there is no true north, nothing you can depend upon. The focus on the personality ethic is the instant creation of an image that sells well in the social and economic marketplace.

You see politicians spending millions of dollars to create an image, even though it's superficial, lacking substance, in order to get votes and gain office. And when it works, it leads to a political system operating independently of the natural laws that should govern - - that are built into the Declaration of Independence : "We hold these Truths to be self-evident, that all Men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty, and the Pursuit of Happiness . . . . "

In other words, they are describing self-evident, external, observable, natural, unarguable, self-evident laws: "We hold these Truths to be self-evident." The key to a healthy society is to get the social will, the value system, aligned with correct principles. You then have the compass needle pointing to true north - true north representing the external or the natural law - and the indicator says that is what we are building our value system on : they are aligned.

But if you get a sick social will behind the political will that is independent of principle, you could have a very sick organization or society with distorted values. For instance, the professed mission and shared values of criminals who rape, rob and plunder might sound very much like many corporate mission statements, using such words as "teamwork," "cooperation," "loyalty," "profitability," "innovation," and "creativity." The problem is that their value system is not based on a natural law.

Figuratively, inside many corporations with lofty mission statements, many people are being mugged in broad daylight in front of witnesses. Or they are being robbed of self-esteem, money, or position without due process. And if there is no social will behind the principles of due process, and if you can't get due process, you have to go to the jury of your peers and engage in counterculture sabotage.

In the movie The Ten Commandments, Moses says to the pharaoh, "We are to be governed by God's law, not by you." In effect he's saying, "We will not be governed by a person unless that person embodies the law." In the best societies and organizations, natural laws and principles govern - that's the Constitution - and even the top people must bow to the principle. No one is above it."

http://www.mkgandhi.org/mgmnt.htm

Don't Get Mad - Fight Off Fury - Marie Claire Mag Staff

"Learn how to find instant calm in the most maddening moments."

Below will inspire you to control your passions within due bounds. Not only good for your well being and blood pressure, keeps you less stressed and young!

"RAGE AGAINST THE MACHINES

Anger is often associated with frustration – and there's nothing more frustrating than computer malfunctions and automated answering services. But hassles are part of life, explains psychologist Sarah Edelman, who says it's pointless to expect life will always be fair or run like clockwork. She warns that anger can escalate your preception of a situation, so avoid using words like "always" and "never", as in, "My computer never works."

TRAFFIC TANTRUMS

You're stuck in traffic and running late, so what should you do? When you feel yourself getting angry, change the CD or radio station, advises John Kotroni, from Alchemy Psychology Services. This physical act symbolises a mental shift away from anger, and will distract you. Still boiling? If you're at a standstill in traffic, try this desensitisation task: flick on the wipers and, keeping your head still, follow the blades with your eyes for a few seconds. This will divert your attention and snap you out of your rage.

PEOPLE PROBLEMS

It may have started as a reasonable discussion, but before you know it, you're in full fury. Kotroni says when you're angry, your cerebral cortex becomes so overwhelmed by emotion that you can't think rationally. So at the first signs of anger - raised heartbeat, sweaty palms - focus on your breathing or clench your hands 20 times to override your anger response. Alternatively, choose a "trigger word" (or song) that will remind you to callm down when you become enraged."

Most times I defer worrying or avoid it altogether. Rationally thinking, there is no point in worrying... you won't get to that appointment faster or solve your woes quicker. Positive action will solve your problems and don't expect your problem to "go away" - most of the time they won't. Either treat them as a non-problem or take them head on.

Another thing is driving faster will most likely save you a mere five minutes, but think of the negatives: you might get into an accident that either would cause your life, limbs or worse you might injure or kill someome else - that is a very high price to pay in your lifetime, unless you die first! Driving slow but sure and safely will get you in your destination in one piece plus whoever elese is with you - most likely a loved one. Don' t gamble with your life much less with the lives of your loved ones - just not worth it.

By the way, article above lifted from here.

Happy People Take Responsibility

"Kallen" Photo by Rea with her new Canon IXUS 860IS.

"Do we focus only on the traits that make our enemies so unlikeable?

Accentuating the positive qualities of those who trouble us is a good

way to deal with resentment, and to transform our dislikes into love."

"If you want happy relationships, you have to take responsibility.

Even if you figure it is your parents fault that you got a bad start [to] in life, decide that it is up to you to do something now.

If you had a string of rotten teachers, and you can't count or spell, take responsibility.

If you work with a bunch of people who are driving you crazy it is up to you to stay happy.

If you don't fix your life, who will? It is so easy to fall into the trap of blaming others.

NOBODY CAN MAKE YOU MISERABLE WITHOUT YOUR PERMISSION.

No matter what someone says or does, you decide how you will respond. If your boss fires you, or someone says you're bad or your sister says you are too fat, they haven't made you unhappy. They simply given you choices of how to respond!

As soon as we admit that we're choosing, and that it's up to us - the sooner we begin to live fully and happy! Not blaming also means taking responsibility for our actions.

THE BOTTOM LINE IS YOU SHOULD DECIDE HOW YOU FEEL.

One aspect of dealing with people effectively is not letting them get you down!! Misery is contagious.

In a nutshell. Happy and successful people succeed in spite of difficulties. Not in the absence of difficulties! So, always choose how you feel, and you will do well in many of your circumstances."

Received from our Activity Lodge Yahoo Groups, Bro Cesar Mata our chaplain.

The Pencil Parable - Author Unknown

"In the beginning, the Pencil Maker spoke to the pencil saying,

"There are five things you need to know before I send you out into the world. Always remember them and you will become the best pencil you can be."

First: You will be able to do many great things, but only if you allow yourself to be held in someone's hand.

Second: You will experience a painful sharpening from time to time, but this is required if you are to become a better pencil.

Third: You have the ability to correct any mistakes you might make.

Fourth: The most important part of you will always be what's inside.

Fifth: No matter what the condition, you must continue to write. You must always leave a clear, legible mark no matter how difficult the situation.

The pencil understood, promising to remember, and went into the box fully understanding its Maker's purpose.

Everyone is like a pencil..."

I received via email the above as a Power Point Presentation slide (much better with graphics, I must admit). If you want to download and see this as PPS, click here.

Miss Me - But Let Me Go (Author Unknown)

"When I come to the end of the road
And the sun has set for me
I want no rites in a gloom filled room
Why cry for a soul set free.

Miss Me a Little - But Not Too Long
And not with your head bowed low
Remember the love that we once shared
Miss Me - But Let Me Go

For this is a journey that we must all take
And each must go alone
It's all a part of a master's plan
A step on the road to home.

When you are lonely and sick of heart
Go to the friends we know
And bury your sorrows in doing good deeds
Miss Me - But Let Me Go"

A brother of a friend lost his young wife to cancer.
Not so inspiring but gives us strength.

"I am devastated by the loss of my beautiful wife, Charline.
This is also a tough time for our children.
She was an exceptionally friendly and loving person.
Charline will be very fondly remembered by all of us.

She has touched our lives and hearts by her example of great courage

that death need not be feared for there is always the Lord waiting for us in heaven.

Let us all gain strength in her... " Jay

Today is a beautiful day... author & illustrator unknown

I have read this email a while back. I received it again today, with some illustrations and additions. Again there's no author assigned to this email except for the sender, Kuyang Vitax. Also I've "retitled" as above, enjoy!

"A blind boy sat on the steps of a building with a hat by his feet. He held up a sign which said: "I am blind, please help." There were only a few coins in the hat.

A man was walking by. He took a few coins from his pocket and dropped them into the hat. He then took the sign, turned it around, and wrote some words. He put the sign back so that everyone who walked by would see the new words.

Soon the hat began to fill up. A lot more people were giving money to the blind boy. That afternoon the man who had changed the sign came to see how things were. The boy recognized his footsteps and asked, "Were you the one who changed my sign this morning? What did you write?"

The man said, "I only wrote the truth. I said what you said but in a different way."

What he had written was: "Today is a beautiful day and I cannot see it."

Do you think the first sign and the second sign were saying the same thing?

Of course both signs told people the boy was blind. But the first sign simply said the boy was blind. The second sign told people they were so lucky that they were not blind. Should we be surprised that the second sign was more effective?

Be thankful for what you have. Be creative. Be innovative. Think differently and positively.

Invite others towards good with wisdom. Live life with no excuse and love with no regrets. When life gives you a 100 reasons to cry, show life that you have 1000 reasons to smile. Face your past without regret. Handle your present with confidence. Prepare for the future without fear. Keep the faith and drop the fear.

Great men say, "Life has to be an incessant process of repair and reconstruction, of discarding evil and developing goodness! In the journey of life, if you want to travel without fear, you must have the ticket of a good conscience."

The most beautiful thing is to see a person smiling!
And even more beautiful is knowing that you are the reason behind!"

Dale Carnegie

“One of the most tragic things I know about human nature

is that all of us tend to put off living.

We are all dreaming of some magical rose garden over the horizon

– instead of enjoying the roses blooming outside our windows today.”

Dale Carnegie

As a young teenager I remember reading his classic book: How to Win Friends and Influence People. I don't know why I did read it... maybe I was a voracious reader and somehow the title inspired me. Or maybe I was looking for friends and at the same influence my parents into giving me more allowance. It had made an indelible impression on me regarding the importance of interpersonal relationships, as well as the stature of the author; one of the firsts who wrote self-help books at the time. Thanks Mr Carnegie!

Some Financial Inspiration

Well, I guess everyone has money woes, even Bill Gates, who is tearing his hair to give away millions to charity. But for most of us, the problem is having the money much less giving it away.

Lifted below article verbatim from "Australian Men's Health" (Yahoo site). Looking at the flaws, I am a bit of everyone of them, but more on the benefactor and procrastinator. Now that I know which category/ies I belong, the healing begins -- or so I've been saying for the last couple of decades!

I feel all this financial obligations make me one of the "new slaves", we work for things in life and the lifestyle. As a co-worker and friend have been saying: "Needs, less wants"!

"Fix Your Money Woes
Sep 18 12:28pm
Bad financial habits reveal much about your emotional undercarriage. Here are five common flaws - and their cures:

The Bankrupt Benefactor
You're quick to brandish your credit card to please the people you love.

Diagnosis: you're trying to buy love or affection, most likely out of guilt from spending time away from home, says financial-advisor Richard Salmen.

Prescription: set up a Christmas or birthday savings account and squirrel away a little each week. When the date nears, your balance is your budget. Period. Then do as Salmen tells his clients: make up the difference with quality time at home.

The Spreadsheet Junkie
Your accounting statements receive more loving attention than your wife.

Diagnosis: you think you're simply controlling your money,but it's controlling you.

Prescription: ask yourself this, "If I had a day to live, how would I spend it?" Logging more time in Excel won't make the cut. "It'll remind you that loved ones - not money - are what's important," says George Kinder, founder of the California-based Kinder Institute of Life Planning. After your reality check, relinquish complete control by giving your wife financial responsibility in some areas.

The Show-Off
You have 30 new belts (and you don't take karate) and you habitually buy rounds for your friends and colleagues.

Diagnosis: people who try hard to impress or gain acceptance in a more affluent herd tend to overspend, reveals Dr Viviana Zelizer, a professor of sociology at Princeton University in the US.

Prescription: use peer pressure to do good. Sign on at wesabe.com, a supersafe, international-financial-support community that allows users to provide feedback to others on saving and spending wisely.

Australia-specific subjects can be found at: wesabe.com/groups/30-australia-wesabeans.

The Procrastinator
You catch up on bills in random bursts and you're afraid to look at your credit report.

Diagnosis: this is often a sign of rigid compartmentalisation, where you divide life into separate chunks. It's a survival tactic - an indication that you're merely existing and not actually living your life, says Kinder.

Prescription: set up auto BillPay, but link a savings goal with a passion - a display case for your spider collection or a surfing tour of Africa. It'll give you a reason to engage with your money regularly.

The Hoarder
You feel guilty about buying new shoes, but gleeful when adding to your sauce-packet stash.

Diagnosis: "These are hard workers who obsess about the future," Salmen says. Denying fun that comes with a price tag is a form of self-preservation.

Prescription: hire an accountant. "Seeing an objective analysis that the future is secure will set you free," says Kinder. "You need permission to spend and a reminder that it can add to your quality of life.""

Hope above helps... and it only does if we take action!

Stress and A Glass of Water (Author Unknown)

"A lecturer, when explaining stress management to an audience, raised a glass of water and asked, "How heavy is this glass of water?"

Answers called out ranged from 20g. to 500g. The lecturer replied, "The absolute weight doesn't matter. It depends on how long you try to hold it. If I hold it for a minute, that's not a problem. If I hold it for an hour, I'll have an ache in my right arm. If I hold it for a day, you'll have to call an ambulance."

In each case, it's the same weight, but the longer I hold it, the heavier it becomes." He continued, "And that's the way it is with stress management. If we carry our burdens all the time, sooner or later, as the burden becomes increasingly heavy, we won't be able to carry on. "

"As with the glass of water, you have to put it down for a while and rest before holding it again. When we're refreshed, we can carry on with the burden." "So, before you return home tonight, put the burden of> work down. Don't carry it home. You can pick it up tomorrow. Whatever burdens you're carrying now,

So, my friend, put down anything that may be a burden to you right now. Don't pick it up again until after you've rested a while. Here are some great ways of dealing with the burdens of life:

* Accept that some days you're the pigeon, and some days you're the statue.

* Always keep your words soft and sweet, just in case you have to eat them.

* Always read stuff that will make you look good if you die in the middle of it.

* Drive carefully. It's not only cars that can be recalled by their Maker.

* If you can't be kind, at least have the decency to be vague.

* If you lend someone $20 and never see that person again, it was probably worth it.

* It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply be kind to others.

* Never put both feet in your mouth at the same time, because then you won't have a leg to stand on.

* The second mouse gets the cheese.

* When everything's coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.

* Birthdays are good for you. The more you have, the longer you live.

* You may be only one person in the world,> but you may also be the world to one person.

* Some mistakes are too much fun to only make once.

* We could learn a lot from crayons... Some are sharp, some are pretty and some are dull. Some have weird names and all are different colors, but they all have to live in the same box.

*A truly happy person is one who can enjoy the scenery on a detour.

I have done this one many, many times. Have an awesome day and know that someone has thought about you today...I did."

The Art of Being Well by Dr Drauzio Varella

I received this MS Power Point Presentation via email and somehow modified it. Dr Varella is a Brazilian medical practitioner. The movie, Carandiru (2003) is based from his real life experiences inside the "dreadful State penitentiary Carandiru, in São Paulo, Brazil, while he was doing a social work of Aids prevention." He also has written several books.

"If you do not want to be ill... Speak your feelings...

Emotions and feelings that are hidden and repressed end in illnesses.

With time, the repression degenerates into illnesses.

Then we go to a confidante to share our intimacy, our "secrets", our errors!

The dialogue, the speech, the word, is a powerful remedy and an excellent therapy!

If you do not want to be ill... Make Decisions...

The undecided person remains in doubt, in anxiety, in anguish.

Indecision accumulates problems, worries and aggressions.

Human history is made up of decisions... everyday decisions and life choices.

To decide is precisely to know to renounce; to know to lose advantages and values to win others.

The undecided people are victims of constant worry and uncertainty.

If you do not want to be ill... Do not Live By Appearances...

He who hides reality, pretends, poses and always wants to give the impression of being well.

He wants to be seen as perfect, easy-going; but is accumulating tons of weight.

A bronze statue with feet of clay!

There is nothing worse for the health than to live on appearances and false facades.

These are people with a lot of varnish and baggages; and little root.

Their destiny is the pharmacy, the hospital and pain.

If you do not want to be ill... Accept...

The refusal of acceptance and the absence of self-esteem, make us alienate ourselves.

Being at one with ourselves is the core of a healthy life.

They, who do not accept this; become envious, jealous, imitators,

ultra-competitive and destructive.

Be accepted, accept that you are accepted; and accept the criticisms.

It is wisdom, good sense and therapy.

If you do not want to be ill... Find Solutions...

Negative people do not find solutions and they enlarge problems.

They prefer lamentations, gossips and pessimisms.

It is better to light a match than to regret the darkness.

A bee is small, but produces one of the sweetest things that exist.

We are what we think we are.

The negative thought generates negative energy that is transformed into illness.

If you do not want to be ill... Trust...

Who does not trust, does not communicate; is not open and is not related;

does not create deep, lasting and stable relations and does not know true friendships.

Without trust and confidence, there is no good relationship.

Distrust is a lack of faith in oneself, in the other person and in faith itself.

If you do not want to be ill... Do Not Live Life Sad...

Good humor. Laughter. Rest. Happiness.

These replenishes health, well being and bring long life.

The happy person has the gift to improve the environment whenever they live.

"Good humor saves us from the hands of the doctor".

Happiness is a healthy life and therapy."

A Gift... Commentary on Getting Old - Author Unknown

Again I received via email the following article. Author unknown.


"A Gift.....

The other day a young person asked me how I felt about being old.

I was taken aback, for I do not think of myself as old.

Upon seeing my reaction, he was immediately embarrassed, but I explained that it was an interesting question, and I would ponder it, and let him know.

Growing Older, I decided, is a gift.

I am now, probably for the first time in my life, the person I have always wanted to be.

Oh, not my body! I sometime despair over my body .. the wrinkles, the baggy eyes, and the cellulite.

And often I am taken aback by that old person that lives in my mirror, but I don't agonize over those things for long.

I would never trade my amazing friends, my wonderful life, my loving family for less gray hair or a flatter belly.

As I've aged, I've become more kind to myself, and less critical of myself.

I've become my own friend.

I don't chide myself for eating that extra cookie, or for not making my bed, or for buying that silly cement gecko that I didn't need, but looks so avant-garde on my patio. I am entitled to be messy, to be extravagant, to smell the flowers.

I have seen too many dear friends leave this world too soon, before they understood the great freedom that comes with aging.

Whose business is it if I choose to read or play on the computer until 4 a.m and then sleep until -- ?

I will dance with myself to those wonderful tunes of the 50's & 60's, (and 70's)and if I, at the same time, wish to weep over a lost love...

I will walk the beach in a swim suit (not in Speedo!) that is stretched over a bulging body, and will dive into the waves with abandon if I choose to, despite the pitying glances from the bikini set.

They, too, will get old, if they're lucky!

I know I am sometimes forgetful.

But then again, some of life is just as well forgotten and I eventually remember the important things.

Sure, over the years my heart has been broken.

How can your heart not break when you lose a loved one, or when a child suffers, or even when a beloved pet gets hit by a car? But broken hearts are what give us strength and understanding and compassion.

A heart never broken is pristine and sterile and will never know the joy of being imperfect. I am so blessed to have lived long enough to have my hair turn gray, and to have my youthful laughs be forever etched into deep grooves on my face.

So many have never laughed, and so many have died before their hair could turn silver (or none at all!).

I can say "no," and mean it.

I can say "yes." and mean it.

As you get older, it is easier to be positive.

You care less about what other people think. I don't question myself anymore.

I've even earned the right to be wrong.

So, to answer your question, I like being older.

It has set me free.

I like the person I have become.

I am not going to live forever, but while I am still here, I will not waste time lamenting what could have been, or worrying about what will be. And I shall eat dessert every single day.. (if I want).

Today,

I wish you a day of ordinary miracles.

Love simply.

Love generously.

Care deeply

Speak kindly.

Then leave the rest to God."


"TO BE WITHOUT THE THINGS YOU WANT IS AN INDESPENSABLE PART OF HAPPINESS !"

Another great article (while we are dwelling on being and getting old) is an article by William Spencer, entitled: "An Unexpected Gift". Here's an excerpt:

"After agreeing I won't wait another 28 years to return, I say farewell to the family. M. Vignault drives me in his small car to the nearby town where I'm staying. Before going to sleep, I describe the events and feelings of the day in my diary. Suddenly, as I write, I am overcome by a wave of utter, desolate sadness. Sadness at the passage of time. Sadness at how old my good-hearted hosts have become. Sadness at the passage of so many years of my own life. Sadness to find myself 50. I weep and weep, unable to continue writing. Where did all that time go? How is it possible for me to be cycling down the same roads, perhaps a third of my life gone by, yet my inner sense of self not one jot older? Why am I no longer the 23-year-old on his bicycle, headed for India? How does this happen?"

To read more, click here or the title above.

For more inspring articles by Seishindo, click here.

The Fringe Benefits of Failure, and the Importance of Imagination by J. K. Rowling

J.K. Rowling, author of the best-selling Harry Potter book series, delivers her Commencement Address, "The Fringe Benefits of Failure, and the Importance of Imagination," at the Annual Meeting of the Harvard Alumni Association.

Download the audio recording.
Get the MP3 here

Text as prepared follows.

Copyright of JK Rowling, June 2008

"President Faust, members of the Harvard Corporation and the Board of Overseers, members of the faculty, proud parents, and, above all, graduates.

The first thing I would like to say is 'thank you.' Not only has Harvard given me an extraordinary honour, but the weeks of fear and nausea I've experienced at the thought of giving this commencement address have made me lose weight. A win-win situation! Now all I have to do is take deep breaths, squint at the red banners and fool myself into believing I am at the world's best-educated Harry Potter convention.

Delivering a commencement address is a great responsibility; or so I thought until I cast my mind back to my own graduation. The commencement speaker that day was the distinguished British philosopher Baroness Mary Warnock. Reflecting on her speech has helped me enormously in writing this one, because it turns out that I can't remember a single word she said. This liberating discovery enables me to proceed without any fear that I might inadvertently influence you to abandon promising careers in business, law or politics for the giddy delights of becoming a gay wizard.

You see? If all you remember in years to come is the 'gay wizard' joke, I've still come out ahead of Baroness Mary Warnock. Achievable goals: the first step towards personal improvement.

Actually, I have wracked my mind and heart for what I ought to say to you today. I have asked myself what I wish I had known at my own graduation, and what important lessons I have learned in the 21 years that has expired between that day and this.

I have come up with two answers. On this wonderful day when we are gathered together to celebrate your academic success, I have decided to talk to you about the benefits of failure. And as you stand on the threshold of what is sometimes called 'real life', I want to extol the crucial importance of imagination.

These might seem quixotic or paradoxical choices, but please bear with me.

Looking back at the 21-year-old that I was at graduation, is a slightly uncomfortable experience for the 42-year-old that she has become. Half my lifetime ago, I was striking an uneasy balance between the ambition I had for myself, and what those closest to me expected of me.

I was convinced that the only thing I wanted to do, ever, was to write novels. However, my parents, both of whom came from impoverished backgrounds and neither of whom had been to college, took the view that my overactive imagination was an amusing personal quirk that could never pay a mortgage, or secure a pension.

They had hoped that I would take a vocational degree; I wanted to study English Literature. A compromise was reached that in retrospect satisfied nobody, and I went up to study Modern Languages. Hardly had my parents' car rounded the corner at the end of the road than I ditched German and scuttled off down the Classics corridor.

I cannot remember telling my parents that I was studying Classics; they might well have found out for the first time on graduation day. Of all subjects on this planet, I think they would have been hard put to name one less useful than Greek mythology when it came to securing the keys to an executive bathroom.

I would like to make it clear, in parenthesis, that I do not blame my parents for their point of view. There is an expiry date on blaming your parents for steering you in the wrong direction; the moment you are old enough to take the wheel, responsibility lies with you. What is more, I cannot criticise my parents for hoping that I would never experience poverty. They had been poor themselves, and I have since been poor, and I quite agree with them that it is not an ennobling experience. Poverty entails fear, and stress, and sometimes depression; it means a thousand petty humiliations and hardships. Climbing out of poverty by your own efforts, that is indeed something on which to pride yourself, but poverty itself is romanticised only by fools.

What I feared most for myself at your age was not poverty, but failure.

At your age, in spite of a distinct lack of motivation at university, where I had spent far too long in the coffee bar writing stories, and far too little time at lectures, I had a knack for passing examinations, and that, for years, had been the measure of success in my life and that of my peers.

I am not dull enough to suppose that because you are young, gifted and well-educated, you have never known hardship or heartbreak. Talent and intelligence never yet inoculated anyone against the caprice of the Fates, and I do not for a moment suppose that everyone here has enjoyed an existence of unruffled privilege and contentment.

However, the fact that you are graduating from Harvard suggests that you are not very well-acquainted with failure. You might be driven by a fear of failure quite as much as a desire for success. Indeed, your conception of failure might not be too far from the average person's idea of success, so high have you already flown academically.

Ultimately, we all have to decide for ourselves what constitutes failure, but the world is quite eager to give you a set of criteria if you let it. So I think it fair to say that by any conventional measure, a mere seven years after my graduation day, I had failed on an epic scale. An exceptionally short-lived marriage had imploded, and I was jobless, a lone parent, and as poor as it is possible to be in modern Britain, without being homeless. The fears my parents had had for me, and that I had had for myself, had both come to pass, and by every usual standard, I was the biggest failure I knew.

Now, I am not going to stand here and tell you that failure is fun. That period of my life was a dark one, and I had no idea that there was going to be what the press has since represented as a kind of fairy tale resolution. I had no idea how far the tunnel extended, and for a long time, any light at the end of it was a hope rather than a reality.

So why do I talk about the benefits of failure? Simply because failure meant a stripping away of the inessential. I stopped pretending to myself that I was anything other than what I was, and began to direct all my energy into finishing the only work that mattered to me. Had I really succeeded at anything else, I might never have found the determination to succeed in the one arena I believed I truly belonged. I was set free, because my greatest fear had already been realised, and I was still alive, and I still had a daughter whom I adored, and I had an old typewriter and a big idea. And so rock bottom became the solid foundation on which I rebuilt my life.

You might never fail on the scale I did, but some failure in life is inevitable. It is impossible to live without failing at something, unless you live so cautiously that you might as well not have lived at all--in which case, you fail by default.

Failure gave me an inner security that I had never attained by passing examinations. Failure taught me things about myself that I could have learned no other way. I discovered that I had a strong will, and more discipline than I had suspected; I also found out that I had friends whose value was truly above rubies.

The knowledge that you have emerged wiser and stronger from setbacks means that you are, ever after, secure in your ability to survive. You will never truly know yourself, or the strength of your relationships, until both have been tested by adversity. Such knowledge is a true gift, for all that it is painfully won, and it has been worth more to me than any qualification I ever earned.

Given a time machine or a Time Turner, I would tell my 21-year-old self that personal happiness lies in knowing that life is not a check-list of acquisition or achievement. Your qualifications, your CV, are not your life, though you will meet many people of my age and older who confuse the two. Life is difficult, and complicated, and beyond anyone's total control, and the humility to know that will enable you to survive its vicissitudes.

You might think that I chose my second theme, the importance of imagination, because of the part it played in rebuilding my life, but that is not wholly so. Though I will defend the value of bedtime stories to my last gasp, I have learned to value imagination in a much broader sense. Imagination is not only the uniquely human capacity to envision that which is not, and therefore the fount of all invention and innovation. In its arguably most transformative and revelatory capacity, it is the power that enables us to empathise with humans whose experiences we have never shared.

One of the greatest formative experiences of my life preceded Harry Potter, though it informed much of what I subsequently wrote in those books. This revelation came in the form of one of my earliest day jobs. Though I was sloping off to write stories during my lunch hours, I paid the rent in my early 20s by working in the research department at Amnesty International's headquarters in London.

There in my little office I read hastily scribbled letters smuggled out of totalitarian regimes by men and women who were risking imprisonment to inform the outside world of what was happening to them. I saw photographs of those who had disappeared without trace, sent to Amnesty by their desperate families and friends. I read the testimony of torture victims and saw pictures of their injuries. I opened handwritten, eye-witness accounts of summary trials and executions, of kidnappings and rapes.

Many of my co-workers were ex-political prisoners, people who had been displaced from their homes, or fled into exile, because they had the temerity to think independently of their government. Visitors to our office included those who had come to give information, or to try and find out what had happened to those they had been forced to leave behind.

I shall never forget the African torture victim, a young man no older than I was at the time, who had become mentally ill after all he had endured in his homeland. He trembled uncontrollably as he spoke into a video camera about the brutality inflicted upon him. He was a foot taller than I was, and seemed as fragile as a child. I was given the job of escorting him to the Underground Station afterwards, and this man whose life had been shattered by cruelty took my hand with exquisite courtesy, and wished me future happiness.

And as long as I live I shall remember walking along an empty corridor and suddenly hearing, from behind a closed door, a scream of pain and horror such as I have never heard since. The door opened, and the researcher poked out her head and told me to run and make a hot drink for the young man sitting with her. She had just given him the news that in retaliation for his own outspokenness against his country's regime, his mother had been seized and executed.

Every day of my working week in my early 20s I was reminded how incredibly fortunate I was, to live in a country with a democratically elected government, where legal representation and a public trial were the rights of everyone.

Every day, I saw more evidence about the evils humankind will inflict on their fellow humans, to gain or maintain power. I began to have nightmares, literal nightmares, about some of the things I saw, heard and read.

And yet I also learned more about human goodness at Amnesty International than I had ever known before.

Amnesty mobilises thousands of people who have never been tortured or imprisoned for their beliefs to act on behalf of those who have. The power of human empathy, leading to collective action, saves lives, and frees prisoners. Ordinary people, whose personal well-being and security are assured, join together in huge numbers to save people they do not know, and will never meet. My small participation in that process was one of the most humbling and inspiring experiences of my life.

Unlike any other creature on this planet, humans can learn and understand, without having experienced. They can think themselves into other people's minds, imagine themselves into other people's places.

Of course, this is a power, like my brand of fictional magic, that is morally neutral. One might use such an ability to manipulate, or control, just as much as to understand or sympathise.

And many prefer not to exercise their imaginations at all. They choose to remain comfortably within the bounds of their own experience, never troubling to wonder how it would feel to have been born other than they are. They can refuse to hear screams or to peer inside cages; they can close their minds and hearts to any suffering that does not touch them personally; they can refuse to know.

I might be tempted to envy people who can live that way, except that I do not think they have any fewer nightmares than I do. Choosing to live in narrow spaces can lead to a form of mental agoraphobia, and that brings its own terrors. I think the wilfully unimaginative see more monsters. They are often more afraid.

What is more, those who choose not to empathise may enable real monsters. For without ever committing an act of outright evil ourselves, we collude with it, through our own apathy.

One of the many things I learned at the end of that Classics corridor down which I ventured at the age of 18, in search of something I could not then define, was this, written by the Greek author Plutarch: What we achieve inwardly will change outer reality.

That is an astonishing statement and yet proven a thousand times every day of our lives. It expresses, in part, our inescapable connection with the outside world, the fact that we touch other people's lives simply by existing.

But how much more are you, Harvard graduates of 2008, likely to touch other people's lives? Your intelligence, your capacity for hard work, the education you have earned and received, give you unique status, and unique responsibilities. Even your nationality sets you apart. The great majority of you belong to the world's only remaining superpower. The way you vote, the way you live, the way you protest, the pressure you bring to bear on your government, has an impact way beyond your borders. That is your privilege, and your burden.

If you choose to use your status and influence to raise your voice on behalf of those who have no voice; if you choose to identify not only with the powerful, but with the powerless; if you retain the ability to imagine yourself into the lives of those who do not have your advantages, then it will not only be your proud families who celebrate your existence, but thousands and millions of people whose reality you have helped transform for the better. We do not need magic to change the world, we carry all the power we need inside ourselves already: we have the power to imagine better.

I am nearly finished. I have one last hope for you, which is something that I already had at 21. The friends with whom I sat on graduation day have been my friends for life. They are my children's godparents, the people to whom I've been able to turn in times of trouble, friends who have been kind enough not to sue me when I've used their names for Death Eaters. At our graduation we were bound by enormous affection, by our shared experience of a time that could never come again, and, of course, by the knowledge that we held certain photographic evidence that would be exceptionally valuable if any of us ran for Prime Minister.

So today, I can wish you nothing better than similar friendships. And tomorrow, I hope that even if you remember not a single word of mine, you remember those of Seneca, another of those old Romans I met when I fled down the Classics corridor, in retreat from career ladders, in search of ancient wisdom:

As is a tale, so is life: not how long it is, but how good it is, is what matters.

I wish you all very good lives.

Thank you very much."

(Via email by Ed Monzon)

Shay Day: Author Unknown

"At a fundraising dinner for a school that serves learning-disabled children, the father of one of the students delivered a speech that would never be forgotten by all who attended. After extolling the school and its dedicated staff, he offered a question:

'When not interfered with by outside influences, everything nature does is done with perfection. Yet my son, Shay, cannot learn things as other children do. He cannot understand things as other children do. Where is the natural order of things in my son?'

The audience was stilled by the query.

The father continued. 'I believe that when a child like, Shay, physically and mentally handicapped comes into the world, an opportunity to realize true human nature presents itself, and it comes in the way other people treat that child.'

Then he told the following story:

Shay and his father had walked past a park where some boys Shay knew were playing baseball. Shay asked, 'Do you think they'll let me play?'

Shay's father knew that most of the boys would not want someone like Shay on their team, but the father also understood that if his son were allowed to play, it would give him a much-needed sense of belonging and some confidence to be accepted by others in spite of his handicaps.

Shay's father approached one of the boys on the field and asked (not expecting much) if Shay could play. The boy looked around for guidance and said, 'We're losing by six runs and the game is in the eighth inning. I guess he can be on our team and we'll try to put him in to bat in the ninth inning.'

Shay struggled over to the team's bench and, with a broad smile, put on a team shirt. His Father watched with a small tear in his eye and warmth in his heart. The boys saw the father's joy at his son being accepted.

In the bottom of the eighth inning, Shay's team scored a few runs, but was still behind by three. In the top of the ninth inning, Shay put on a glove and played in the right field. Even though no hits came his way, he was obviously ecstatic just to be in the game and on the field, grinning from ear to ear as his father waved to him from the stands.

In the bottom of the ninth inning, Shay's team scored again. Now, with two outs and the bases loaded, the potential winning run was on base as Shay was scheduled to be next at bat.

At this juncture, do they let Shay bat and give away their chance to win the game?

Surprisingly, Shay was given the bat. Everyone knew that a hit was all but impossible because Shay didn't even know how to hold the bat properly, much less connect with the ball.

However, as Shay stepped up to the plate, the pitcher, recognizing that the other team was putting winning aside for this moment in Shay's life, he moved in a few steps lobbing the ball in softly so Shay could at least make contact. The first pitch came and Shay swung clumsily and missed. The pitcher again took a step forward to toss the ball softly towards Shay. As the pitch came in, Shay swung at the ball and hit a slow ground ball right back to the pitcher.

The game would now be over. The pitcher picked up the soft grounder and could have easily thrown the ball to the first baseman. Shay would have been out and that would have been the end of the game.

Instead, the pitcher threw the ball right over the first baseman's head, out of reach of all team mates. Everyone from the stands and both teams started yelling, 'Shay, run to first! Run to first!' Never in his life had Shay ever run that far, but he made it to first base. He scampered down the baseline, wide-eyed and startled.

Everyone yelled, 'Run to second, run to second!'

Catching his breath, Shay awkwardly ran towards second, gleaming and struggling to make it to the base. By the time Shay rounded towards second base, the right fielder had the ball ... the smallest guy on their team who now had his first chance to be the hero for his team. He could have thrown the ball to the second-baseman for the tag, but he understood the pitcher's intentions so he, too, intentionally threw the ball high and far over the third-baseman's head. Shay ran toward third base deliriously as the runners ahead of him circled the bases toward home.

All were screaming, 'Shay, Shay, Shay, all the Way Shay'

Shay reached third base because the opposing shortstop ran to help him by turning him in the direction of third base, and shouted, 'Run to third! Shay, run to third!'

As Shay rounded third, the boys from both teams, and the spectators, were on their feet screaming, 'Shay, run home! Run home!' Shay ran to home, stepped on the plate, and was cheered as the hero who hit the grand slam and won the game for his team.

'That day', said the father softly with tears now rolling down his face, 'the boys from both teams helped bring a piece of true love and humanity into this world'.

Shay didn't make it to another summer. He died that winter, having never forgotten being the hero and making his father so happy, and coming home and seeing his Mother tearfully embrace her little hero of the day!

A wise man once said every society is judged by how it treats it's least fortunate amongst them.

May your day, be a Shay Day."

Thanks Neng for the Baloons & Your Friendship

Life is too short to wake up with regrets.
Love the people who treat you right.
Forgive the ones who don't.
Believe everything happens for a reason.
If you get a second chance, grab it with both hands.
If it changes your life, let it.
God never said life would be easy.
He just promised He would see you through it!


Photo courtesy of a friend who emailed me this wish.


Friends are like balloons.
Once you let them go, it's hard to get them back.
So I'm gonna tie you to my heart so I never lose you.
Send these balloons to your friends.
You may also return it to me.
If four balloons are returned to you, You are blessed with friendship!

Thanks to Neng for sending this email to me. You can send this link (click here) to your friends, and leave a comment for them.

The Road to Significance by Michael Josephson

"The most traditional way to measure the quality of one’s life is to list accolades, achievements, and acquisitions. In its simplest terms, success is getting what we want, and most people want wealth and status. Yet as much pleasure as these attributes can bring, the rich, powerful, and famous usually discover that true happiness will elude them if they don't have peace of mind, self-respect, and enduring loving relationships.

Peace of mind doesn’t preclude ambition or desire for material possessions or high position, but it assumes a fundamental foundation of contentment, gratitude, and pride – a belief that whatever one has is enough and an active appreciation for the good things in life.

Feeling successful can generate satisfying emotions of self-worth, but feeling significant – that one’s life really matters – is much more potent. Peter Drucker, the great management guru, captured this idea when he wrote of the urge many high achievers have to "move beyond success to significance. "

The surprise for many is that one of the surest roads to significance is service. It doesn’t have to be of the Mother Teresa missionary variety. Parents who sacrifice their comfort and pleasure for their children are performing a service, as are teachers, public-safety professionals, members of the military, and volunteers who work for the common good.

In addressing graduates, Albert Schweitzer said, "I don’t know what your destiny will be, but one thing I do know: The only ones among you who will be really happy are those who have sought and found how to serve."

This is Michael Josephson reminding you that character counts."

My comment: This reminds us why billionaire Bill Gates is giving away his fortune. Rich men like him knows the significance of service to others, of giving his material wealth as well as his time.

But we need to be of service to others and give out of love for our fellow human beings, not to be just significant or feel "important". To quote apostle Paul in his letter to the Corinthians (2 Conrinthians 13):

"If I give all I possess to the poor and give over my body [to hardship] that I may boast, but do not have love, I gain nothing."

To read more inspirations by Michael Josephson, please click here to visit his "Character Counts" commentaries.

Carrots, Eggs and Coffee (Author Unknown)

"A carrot, an egg, and a cup of coffee...

You will never look at a cup of coffee the same way again.

A young woman went to her mother and told her about her life and how things were so hard for her. She did not know how she was going to make it and wanted to give up. She was tired of fighting and struggling. It seemed as one problem was solved, a new one arose.

Her mother took her to the kitchen. She filled three pots with water and placed each on a high fire. Soon the pots came to boil. In the first she placed carrots, in the second she placed eggs, and in the last she placed ground coffee beans. She let them sit and boil; without saying aword.

In about twenty minutes she turned off the burners. She fished the carrots out and placed them in a bowl. She pulled the eggs out and placed them in a bowl. Then she ladled the coffee out and placed it in a bowl. Turning to her daughter, she asked, " Tell me what you see."

''Carrots, eggs, and coffee," she replied.

Her mother brought her closer and asked her to feel the carrots. She did and noted that they were soft.

The mother then asked the daughter to take an egg and break it. After pulling off the shell, she observed the hard boiled egg.

Finally, the mother asked the daughter to sip the coffee. The daughter smiled as she tasted its rich aroma.

The daughter then asked, "What does it mean, mother?"

Her mother explained that each of these objects had faced the same adversity: boiling water. Each reacted differently.

The carrot went in strong, hard, and unrelenting. However, after being subjected to the boiling water, it softened and became weak.

The egg had been fragile. Its thin outer shell had protected its liquid interior, but after sitting through the boiling water, its inside became hardened.

The ground coffee beans were unique, however. After they were in the boiling water, they had changed the water.

"Which are you?" she asked her daughter. "When adversity knocks on your door, how do you respond? Are you a carrot, an egg or a coffee bean?"

Think of this: Which am I? Am I the carrot that seems strong, but with pain and adversity do I wilt and become soft and lose my strength?

Am I the egg that starts with a malleable heart, but changes with the heat? Did I have a fluid spirit, but after a death, a breakup, a financial hardship or some other trial, have I become hardened and stiff? Does my shell look the same, but on the inside am I bitter and tough with a stiff spirit and hardened heart?

Or am I like the coffee bean? The bean actually changes the hot water, the very circumstance that brings the pain. When the water gets hot, it releases the fragrance and flavor. If you are like the bean, when things are at their worst, you get better and change the situation around you. When the hour is the darkest and trials are their greatest do you elevate yourself to another level?

How do you handle adversity? Are you a carrot, an egg or a coffee bean?

May you have enough happiness to make you sweet, enough trials to make you strong, enough sorrow to keep you human and enough hope to make you happy.

The happiest of people don't necessarily have the best of everything; they just make the most of everything that comes along their way.

Thebrightest future will always be based on a forgotten past; you can't go forward in life until you let go of your past failures and heartaches.

When you were born, you were crying and everyone around you was smiling.

Live your life so at the end, you're the one who is smiling and everyone around you is crying.

May we all be COFFEE!"

Faith: Staircase to God By Soma Chakravarty

"Faith is where body, mind, soul and spirit merge, leading us to an ever-present awareness of the Absolute within."



"Yours faithfully - A letter ends there. However, faith is the beginning of the human quest for self-discovery and the Absolute. Faith can be neither forced nor taught; it is an experience that transcends trust, reason, belief and ideology.

Belief in religious scripture confines the mind; the trust we repose in an individual, too, is a limiting factor. The intellect can only too often weave a cobweb of theories, and reason can cause mistrust, taking us away from discovering the great scope and depth of an infinite power that's faith, that can otherwise serve as an effective spiritual guide.

Zen Master Hakuin said: "Not knowing how near the truth is, people seek it far away. What a pity! This very Earth is the Lotus Land of purity and this body is the body of the Buddha"."

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"Faith is heartfelt rather than knowledge-fed. It is the unquestioned surrender to the will of the Almighty. We have to become aware of the light within to know God, to become God-like.

Yajnavalkya says that the self is its own light when the sun has set, when the moon has set, when the fire is put out - atmaivasya jyotir bhavati . This light is the faith that gives us the vision of the eternal and eternity. Faith becomes reality when the mind concentrates on the Real.

The Brhadaranyaka Upanishad says: "Those who put their trust in the intellect cannot attain to a knowledge of Brahmn, yet there is an apprehension of His being by those who are childlike".

It is faith, rather than intellectual understanding or theoretical knowledge, that is needed for revelation of the Supreme in the individual soul.

One has to rise above religion and rituals, dogmas and doctrines that cloud our vision. "Faith is an oasis in the heart which will never be reached by the caravan of thinking", said Kahlil Gibran.

To discover faith that can lead us to consciousness of the infinite, we have to calm the mind, fill our heart with unconditional love and compassion, and listen to the sound of silence, the eternal song of the Absolute."

To read complete article, please click main title or here.

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"In the souls and spirits, the minds, hearts and physical bodies of men, the creator has planted seeds (gifts, virtues, magic powers, spiritual splendours) that can be nourished and made to grow only by the light and warmth of the Sun. When we expose ourselves to the rising sun, all these seeds will begin to sprout. The sun will provide light and warmth, but we have to water those little sprouts with love, faith, trust and goodwill. Meditate, contemplate, pray and give thanks to the lord, pronounce some positive, luminous words and in this way we will become a garden full of lovely flowers and delicious fruit."

Also see http://www.suryayog.org/.

Faith and Belief: Beyond Belief

Faith Moves Mountains (Author Unknown)

"A student of science once confided to me after some hesitation: "I've no faith in God." "Never mind," I said. "God won't mind!" "He won't, right?" was the young man's unguarded response, not without an air of relief.

The student no doubt represented the large number of agnostics whose 'no belief' is a vague proposition. But there are others who are firm in their belief that they do not believe.

However, an honest examination would show that what they do not believe in was a particular idea of God. Many take the concept of God they inherited from their family or milieu for granted, without analysing or questioning it and then quarrel with it, accept it or reject it.

The concept is often inane - God as a rigid taskmaster, an exaggerated version of one's familiar boss, or an uncompromising moralist, a headmaster with a halo, or a sort of spiritual director general of police or even the chief justice of the ultimate Supreme Court. There is nothing blasphemous in their rejecting God, for what they reject is an absurd notion of God.

In fact, blasphemy is an imaginary attitude. Nobody can offend God because the offender himself, like the believer, is an emanation of God searching for the truth and growing towards it in his own way. It is not that God simply created us, He became us. In the primeval stage He, in His uncontested wisdom or foolishness, plunged into a state that was His opposite, but is in the process of evolving out of that state, within each individual, towards the Light, Bliss, Freedom and Immortality that He is in His undiluted state. Indeed, even though He became this creation, He was not lost or exhausted in it. He also remained above it, transcending it, ready to help each one who consciously strives to recover his or her lost divinity. Thus, the One who oversees this process is God while we too are gods oblivious of ourselves.

There is no state of mind as 'nonbelief'. If I do not believe in God, I believe is the non-existence of God, as some philosophers point out. Or we believe in humanity, in a cause, or we believe in ourselves. Nobody can exist without faith. I cannot take another step, literally, unless I had faith that the earth would not give away; I would not write this unless I had faith that you would read this; you would not read this unless you had faith that it could be worth reading. If you are disillusioned, you are disillusioned only in one act of faith, not in faith itself.

Folklore informs us of a puny bird who does not trust the firmness of the sky - when it goes to sleep, it unfurls its tiny legs upward so that in case the sky falls down on it, it could throw it away. It does not have faith in the sky, but has faith in its legs. Faith itself is a divine quality, 'a support from above' as the Mother says, inherent in us. Spirituality only requires that we direct it to the Power that is behind the entire phenomenon.

There are different levels of faith. The tamasik faith, resting on inertia, suggests that all will be done whether one acts or not. The rajasik faith, inspired by one's own confidence in oneself, proves dynamic in whatever one does. The sattvik faith is activated by some laudable ideal. The highest is the faith that's spiritual. Once a little girl was heard praying at night, 'O God, please repair my broken toy'. Her elder brother laughed. 'You foolish girl, do you believe that God would respond to such a silly prayer?' he asked. 'Of course He would,' she replied.

In the morning the brother woke her up and pointing to the broken toy, asked: "So, did God respond to your prayer?" he asked, teasing the girl. "Of course He did," she insisted. "He has indicated that I am now past the age of playing with toys!"

This kind of faith is what gives one strength, helping us in our travels through life."